What is interesting to men? How to be an interesting woman for a man? How to always be interesting to your husband. Famous rules
The beginning of a relationship in youth is increasingly reminiscent of a child's game of cat and mouse. He acts actively and invites her on dates, and she agrees and flirts flirtatiously, he courts, and she reacts to signs of attention, he seeks attention, and she appreciates his efforts. However, youth and first loves pass, and the children's rules of the game lose their relevance. Partners learn to treat themselves and others with respect, realize that in a healthy relationship, both put in equal effort, and begin to understand what exactly they want from the relationship.
Okay, okay, in reality, the situation described above does not happen to everyone. Men are often too lazy to win the attention of the opposite sex and look for the simplest and most accessible solutions, while women react coolly to compliments and overestimate their demands on their prospective partner so as not to get burned by the hunter for easy “prey.” In short, an atmosphere of suspicion and mistrust is characteristic of both sides.
And today we propose to talk about the most sensitive side of this conflict - the women's side. What do men find so repulsive about women's behavior? Why are they not in a hurry to conquer and sing serenades under the window? What actions and reactions make men lose interest so quickly? Let's figure it out:
Reasons why men find you uninteresting
1. You wait before texting back or calling.
If you think he'll think you're available just because you responded to his message instantly, think again. The man won’t even wonder why you answered right away. But hundreds of calls and messages, or the complete absence of them, may well anger or confuse him.
2. You don't appreciate his efforts at all.
Don't try to fill yourself with imaginary indifference. If you liked the bouquet he was given, thank him; if you were impressed by a walk, a trip to the cinema or a pleasant dinner, tell him about it. Otherwise, your partner will decide that he does not meet your needs and will simply retreat from your life before it is too late.
3. You don't say anything nice to him.
The same effect as in the previous paragraph can be caused by your inattention to his person. It is not at all necessary to praise him and give him compliments. However, a young man may well assume that he is not good enough for you if your appearance and behavior express a complete lack of interest and sympathy.
4. You focus all attention on yourself
It is better to bring neutral topics to dates and meetings, rather than your own problems and successes. On the one hand, you will not expose yourself as a selfish person who is only interested in herself, and on the other hand, you will not put all your cards on the table too quickly. Leave some room for imagination and riddles!
5. You don't pay attention to him.
Are you ignoring him to force him to pursue you? Risky plan. It is likely that he will heed logic and go looking for someone who can appreciate him. And you will be left alone with nothing.
6. You turn down dates just to make him think you're too busy.
I interviewed about twenty men and guys I know, and they all admitted that they perceive refusal of a date as a reluctance to see them (men) specifically, and not as a reluctance to go on a date. The absolute majority also confirmed that after three refusals they would completely stop offering dates to the woman who refused.
7. One-word answers
This passive-aggressive method only works with men who are in dependent relationships. What will a lonely young man with nothing to lose do in such a situation? Will find an interlocutor who will be interested in conversation.
8. You interrupt a conversation to chat with someone you know.
Yes, you are popular and you have many friends. But your counterpart sees this situation from the other side. With the one in which you are interested in others much more than in dating him.
9. You keep him at a distance
Even if you explain this by saying that you want to check whether your relationship is serious, he is unlikely to take this news positively. And you won’t do anything good for yourself with such a decision: on the one hand, it is impossible to verify the seriousness of the relationship in this way. They are tested by the difficulties you go through hand in hand. On the other hand, you give him the right to do whatever he wants on the side. After all, everything is not serious with you, right?
10. You retreat quickly
If you don't have an emergency, but you run away again and again right after the end of the movie or right after dessert, your man will assume that you didn't enjoy the date. You may have been trying to convey that you need more privacy, but instead you ruined the good atmosphere of the evening and left your partner in frustrated ignorance.
Do you want honest treatment from men? Be honest with them in response. And first of all, be honest with yourself. If you really like your partner, find a more noble way of saying that you are looking for a serious relationship. And don't play with the feelings of others. Because the only loser in this game of manipulation will be you.
Posted inTo understand how to be interesting to a man, let's figure out what interest is in general, and for example, take a couple that became famous not so long ago.
Interest is a manifestation of attention to something, someone. In our case, to a partner in . And what does she consist of - someone who wants to captivate and become a life partner? Like any person, there are three parts: body, mind and soul.
The most popular way to interest a man is to attract him with your appearance and shape. An entire global industry is built on this. Fitness, fashion, cosmetics, plastic surgery, diets - this whole huge mechanism works thanks to one single desire of a woman (!): to lure the stronger sex.
But psychology is a very subtle thing, and does not like rude interventions with pumped up hips or silicone breasts.
It is also known that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” Whether this is true or not is not so important, but the fact that they love to eat delicious food is an indisputable fact. Now attention! How does your loved one feel when he's full? He loses interest in food. Do you understand? Well-fed, his gaze wanders in search of something more exciting than a juicy, aromatic piece of meat. And it will always be like this. After eating, curiosity will want to satisfy the strongest hunger!..
Therefore, we move on to the next way to be interesting to a man - with the help of the mind. For some reason, this property is not favored by the weaker sex.
Although those who know a lot about life prefer the sexiest quality in a woman – her mind.
In Ancient Greece, hetaeras were famous for their ability to conduct a conversation and have opinions about different areas of life. The powers that be came to them not for sex, but for communication. But here, too, there is a fine line - not to become a “bluestocking” presenting dry knowledge, but to have a cozy conversation in a sincere atmosphere.
And here we move on to the third part, how to be interesting for, - spiritual qualities. Respect, love, creativity, mood. Men are more likely to pay attention to women who radiate joy. But as for an exalted nature, there is a danger of “flying into the clouds,” where one can remain, not noticing earthly life and surroundings.
What am I leading to?.. The main secret of how to always be interesting to a man is the harmony of three components: mind, body and soul. The question arises: “If she skillfully develops all of the above, why does she need someone?” And here we come to the main thing:
how to be interesting to a man? - means being interesting to yourself!
Externally, hobbies, inner world - be satisfied with yourself. After all, if you think about it, a woman seeks confirmation of her qualities in the attention of a man, which means she doubts them.
As an example, Anna Mironova and Yakov Shtolman are heroes of a detective series. How do they attract each other? - its self-sufficiency. Do you understand? The goal is not sexual desire, but the desire to make the chosen one stronger through personal self-development and support - that’s the true truth!
In conclusion - a little secret on how to be interesting to a man -
Modern ladies have a lot of misconceptions about what kind of women are interesting to men. This is partly due to upbringing, partly to the images of glamorous girls flashing from TV screens and covers of glossy magazines. In some ways, prejudices are implanted in their souls by friends with their advice, and in some ways by their own sad experiences. And they, unfortunate ones, are chasing an unattainable ideal, trying to lose weight to size forty, style their hair perfectly and have flawless skin. Many are very close to ideal. They are almost ideal. For now they are silent. Because if they open their mouths, then the unfortunate men have nothing to talk about with these dolls. Not because they are stupid, no. But, simply, many do not know what to talk about with a man. They know how to be attractive, but how to be interesting? Let's find out how to become interesting to a man.
- Firstly, an interesting woman is easy to communicate with. An interesting woman is not afraid to say something stupid. If you are attractive, men will not notice any mistakes on your part. Girls often put on a stern and cutesy appearance. They put on a serious face, try to seem well-mannered, smart and mysterious. As a result, the man goes out of his way to keep the conversation going, talks about the weather, asks standard questions, to which he receives not very common answers. The conversation doesn’t go well, impressions of each other are blurry. The man doesn’t call anymore, and the girl wonders what she did wrong - either she held the fork in the wrong hand, or did her hair the wrong way.
Yes, a man first of all evaluates a woman visually. But then he starts a conversation. And here everything depends on the woman. If she becomes interesting to him, then she can count on long-term courtship; if not, then they won’t invite her further “come to my place, let’s watch a movie.”
- Secondly, an interesting woman lives an interesting life. It is hardly worth explaining that housewives do not live interesting lives.
Interesting woman:
- studies or works (while not being obsessed with her activities);
- plays sports (constantly, not occasionally);
- reads books (pulp novels are not books);
- watches movies, especially new ones);
- doesn’t watch TV (and if he does, he’ll never admit it);
- has a hobby (for example, photography, dancing, horse riding. You need to have a hobby so that a man understands you. Unfortunately, very few men know how to knit and weave macramé).
- Thirdly, to become interesting to a man, a woman’s day must be filled. Home - work, work - home - not about her. She fits dates with a man into her busy schedule.
But at the same time, in a conversation, an interesting woman will never conduct a monologue about her colorful life. Her task is to bring the man to a dialogue in which her gentleman will understand that he is a self-sufficient, versatile, bright person with clear life priorities. You shouldn’t agree with a man on everything in a conversation; sometimes you need to contradict him. Representatives of the stronger half of humanity love to prove that they are right; in addition, an argument enlivens the conversation.
An interesting woman can count not only on admiration, but also on respect, and these are feelings that often develop...into love)))
First of all, there is only one way to achieve this - to be yourself and love your man. And the secret to a long-lasting relationship is for the people in the relationship to continue to develop. If one stops in his development, and he no longer cares about himself or his partner, the second begins to think about finding someone else.
What does it mean to develop?
It is constantly being in search of something, wanting, learning, striving, setting goals and achieving them. At the same time, try to carefully preserve and increase what you already have.
Long-term harmonious relationships are based on three important pillars: respect, compliance and maintaining interest in each other. And if everything is more or less clear with mutual respect and concessions to each other, then the cornerstone of conflicts in most unions, as a rule, becomes the third “y” - retention of interest. It is quite difficult to maintain it for many years. We all know examples of such marriages where one or the other half relaxed: she stopped taking care of herself, monitoring her weight, appearance, and forgot about signs of attention. Maintaining interest is one of the most important indicators of an alliance; it is what helps maintain strong relationships for many years.
The most beautiful and well-groomed 24 hours
It is very important to remember that for the man you love, you should always be the most beautiful and well-groomed, and be in shape. In general, this thought is inextricably linked with another - in order to achieve this, you need to love yourself, and constantly, almost 24 hours a day. I'm not talking about the urgent need to look for shortcomings in yourself and then take action. No, this is more and more global here - you need to accept yourself for who you are, love yourself for your shortcomings too, because they are a continuation of our strengths. But at the same time, do not allow yourself to become limp and relax for long. A woman who loves herself takes care of herself - and that says it all. She does not need, having accidentally learned about her husband’s affair on the side, to urgently run for new clothes and to a nutritionist. She regularly replenishes her wardrobe with things she likes, leads an active lifestyle and is happy with herself.
In addition, a woman who strives to strengthen her relationship should have her own life, separate from her husband - friends, hobbies, activities. A woman who has completely dissolved in her husband and lives exclusively by his interests and household chores quickly becomes a burden. Men are hunters by nature, even after conquering you, they need to realize that they are a little free, therefore, you can communicate with someone, and someone likes it. Therefore, a woman who has friends and hobbies outside of home is much more interesting to them than one who has neither one nor the other.
Aunt Isabelle is one of those surreal old ladies who, by their mere existence, prove that sorceresses exist. Having survived three dear, beloved and only (each was one and only) men, auntie (she is categorically against being called a grandmother - and even more so a great-grandmother) devoted her time to contemplating the world and distributing free advice to daughters, nieces of all levels, granddaughters and numerous girlfriends of all the above-mentioned relatives. The following tips are fragments of Aunt Isabelle's correspondence on the topics of love, family, sex and relationships with men.
First. Whatever you do to attract someone's attention, you will do first of all for yourself.
The possibility of failure always remains. Sometimes in the process of struggle you can discover something completely new in yourself, or build other relationships, or understand that the struggle itself is no longer interesting, or who knows what else. The result is a more confident, more accomplished, more interesting woman, regardless of the outcome of the “battle for her beloved.”
Second. A man should not know that you are fighting for him.
Let him think absolutely whatever he wants about his actions. Many smart women love this kind of quite conscious “game of being a blonde” - if a man needs a logical explanation, let him come up with one himself.
Stereotypically, men want to be hunters. It is often lost in a long and constant relationship with a man and especially with a husband. The truth is, many men I know are prey without even knowing it. Your husband should experience the feeling that prey, which seemed to be caught forever, suddenly escapes from under his nose. But don't overplay it. You need to stick to some kind of golden mean - yes, dear, I am of course interested in you, but I also have other important interests.
Third. Take care of your appearance and clothes.
In a fit of feeling, women are often ready to reveal all of themselves to a man, leaving no secrets for themselves and their souls. Therefore, a man begins to believe that he already knows this woman like crazy (whatever that means in his mind). And once you know everything, you don’t expect anything. What kind of passions are there...
Therefore, small revolutions in appearance should be carried out periodically (I’m talking about changing your wardrobe, underwear, and handbags again). Buy something that previously seemed inappropriate. I don’t know what exactly - maybe jeans with a rhinestone butterfly covering the entire butt, maybe a handbag with a playboy emblem, maybe something else. And get the most out of it.
For example, I had a rather conservative mother, who dressed me in strict clothes that would have suited any woman her age. By inertia, for quite a long time I preferred the boring and respectable classic style. And then one day I made a small internal revolution - I went and bought myself a short skirt, bright scarves, low-cut tops, some flashy jewelry... So what if I got tired of all this after a week? I just temporarily turned into a little girl who so missed this miniskirt at sixteen (Oh, of course, in those years it was impossible to think about such a thing, but probably that vague thing you want, but cannot express, when you are sixteen , included this short skirt). And having returned in time to my sixteen-year-old self, I changed myself as an adult, finding my own style and my own idea of myself. Remember how in the song - you think all this will be worn - I think all this should be sewn.
Fourth. Develop your intellect and assert your independence.
Surely there is some topic or subject that interests you, but for which you did not have enough time. Deal with it immediately. There are unread books. Unwatched films. Read, watch, absorb new impressions. But discuss emotions not with your man/husband, but with your girlfriends, at work, or even write to me. For a man, just one phrase-statement about your inner growth, about satisfying his curiosity and interest is enough. It’s also good to get out of the house on a, so to speak, permanent basis. Once a week some classes, a fitness membership, a swimming pool. And everyone should know that this is your inviolable time for yourself. Even if there is an earthquake, even if there is a flood, you will still go out to sing, or dance, or jump rope. And this place should be closed from your husband. That is, where it is - he may know - but nothing more.
Oh, this irritates men more than any other whims and even more than the desire to buy an expensive fur coat. And at the same time, a woman’s independence is a hook that men swallow harder than any other. They don’t love beauty, beauty only attracts. They love individuality, independence and self-respect. You can be not too beautiful, not fashionably dressed. Inner freedom and your own view of the world will attract quite interesting men to you (and - this is important to remember - enough “sons” drawn to a potential “mommy”).
Fifth. Nurture your healthy sexuality
It's difficult to write about sex without equivocation. But still. Create a habit of sometimes giving in to your own fantasies. In pleasant clothes, after a bath, caress yourself in front of the mirror and bring yourself to orgasm. (You can do it a couple of times in a row). Try different poses, methods (only without extreme - not everything that we can imagine really gives pleasure) Imagine beautiful men (better than unreal ones) and instill in yourself the thought of your own desirability, your beauty, your sex appeal and irresistibility. This is a kind of auto-training. If what is written confuses you or slightly offends you, then all the more you need to overcome all your complexes on the topic of sex. And it’s better to do this gradually, alone with yourself.
One of the most common excuses from women - “I’m so tired that I don’t want sex, especially with myself” - only speaks of a lack of attention to oneself. In reality, sex does not require that much physical strength. Rather, the refusal is not due to physical fatigue, but because the woman needs too much moral strength to get ready for sex. So why not practice and understand yourself. Women often blame men for their coldness or dissatisfaction, but at the same time they have no idea what they themselves like, what actions are suitable and what are annoying.
Food, sleep, sex - a trio of basic human needs and pleasures. You love to eat well, prefer a comfortable sleep in a comfortable bed, but for some reason you don’t notice that you are depriving yourself of the third equally important component of physical (and mental!) health. It is not necessary to be able to form some tricky Kama Sutra position, but you must regularly train your vaginal muscles. Healthy sexuality is important, first of all, for the woman herself, to get positivity and good mood from life. And, of course, men primarily choose women with normal sexual reactions.
Sixth. Learn to be calm in any circumstances.
This is useful not only in gender relations. This helps in work, relationships with relatives and friends, and simply promotes good health. Moreover, mind you, I am not saying to be calm all the time. I just draw your attention to the fact that instantly breaking out scandals can turn out to be a useless and irritating shock of air. And tears, as a rule, cannot help grief. Therefore, before you start screaming or making trouble, getting nervous or panicking, count to at least ten. Even if you have been betrayed, even if the heavens have fallen on your head, even if the earth has opened up and is about to swallow you - find some kind of equilibrium in which you can make a reasonable decision. And you can scream and cry later.
Seventh. Impulsive passion is good.
Love - often and very often (no matter what theorists write) - an instant impulse, imprinting. And sometimes some of the circumstances in which this impulse arose can be repeated - in an attempt to associatively arise similar feelings and impressions. Sometimes it can be certain clothes, a place, a smell, people, music, movements... And the association should be sudden, instant. Here you better know what, when and how your man or husband fell for it...
One of my friends met her husband at a party, and she was accidentally doused with water from a vase of flowers. You know, that musty smell of standing water. So she assures that her husband is still falling for this rottenness, and only with her alone.
Sudden sex, even between long-term partners, is also an excellent opportunity to introduce impulsiveness into a long-term relationship. And it is not necessary for a man to take the initiative. He just needs to be provoked. Well, having provoked it, you don’t have to be a log yourself.
Eighth. Give the man a little jealous.
Someone called, an unfamiliar man gave something, someone at work/in the pool/jumping rope gave flowers (at least buy them for yourself). Your omissions and omissions are intriguing - but male curiosity also ruined Rome. The main thing is not to overdo it, not to overplay, and, having started the game, not to be the first loser.
Ninth. Be interesting and a little unpredictable.
This is a subtle thing - a man should not guess one hundred percent what you will do or say. But you shouldn’t be afraid of your too extravagant antics. Sometimes it is useful to change habitual patterns of behavior.
For example, if before you always scolded for socks scattered on the floor, now say that you will tell fortunes by the socks, or read an interesting test for determining intelligence by the number of abandoned socks found, or about the need for urgent disinfection of the room, since there may be fungi on the socks .
The main thing is that my husband is both curious and a little funny. Some things can be done with such a trick - every time you come up with something new. So that she would come to you and think - damn, I wonder what she will do with her socks today.
Tenth. Be cheerful.
A little lighter, a little more frivolous. Tell funny stories about yourself, touching stories about your children, anecdotes about your family life. Study the man’s interest and give him funny stories about the topic from time to time. With whom are you more interested - with a whiner who mourns universal sorrows, or with an optimist who knows how to laugh at his problems? It's the same with men. A cheerful and cheerful woman is much more attractive than one who is not funny, even if she has an extremely languid look.
Eleventh. Seduce him and let him seduce you.
Seduction on your part should not look too blatant. (Let the man think that he is acting as a hunter). Let them want and seduce you - interesting, cheerful, independent, beautifully dressed. But you can always push a man into active courtship. This is actually a complex and simple language of gestures and movements. It is difficult to consciously make it natural, but some things can be learned. A standing man can be marinated for a while before giving up.
But I still don’t really understand and share the point of view that a woman should be an impregnable fortress. Even if a woman is not in love, and a man is courting in an interesting way, is pleasant in appearance and demonstrates high moral qualities, then why should he be refused only on the grounds that there was no chemistry at first sight? Why not receive and give pleasure to each other?
Well, if we are talking about reciprocity, then it’s time to enjoy moments of intimacy and try to understand each other in the most literal, original sense. Be happy, my dear girls!
