The child is often overcome by all sorts of fears, sadness, anger and irritation. What is the cause of this anxiety is sometimes not understood by either the children themselves or their parents. What to do in this case? How to help your child? Perhaps we should turn to experts in the human soul - psychologists?Today, psychologists have many methods that help solve a child’s problems in the most pleasant way for him. One of the main such methods is art therapy - treatment with art. For children, the best types of art therapy are color therapy (treatment with color), music therapy (treatment with melody), play therapy (using games as a way to solve a child’s psychological problems) and, of course, fairy tale therapy - a method that allows you to work with children and adults through fairy tale
What is fairy tale therapy?
Fairytale therapy is perhaps the most children's method of psychology, and, of course, one of the most ancient. After all, even our ancestors, when raising children, were in no hurry to punish the guilty child, but told him a fairy tale, from which the meaning of the act became clear. Fairy tales served as a moral and ethical law, protected children from misfortunes, and taught them about life. Knowing how a fairy tale influences a person’s life, you can help your child in a lot of ways. Does he have a favorite fairy tale that he asks to read again and again? This means that this fairy tale touches on very important issues for a child. Consult a psychologist. Fairytale therapy sessions will help you understand what attracts a child to the plot of this fairy tale, which of the characters he likes the most, and why he chooses this particular fairy tale. Over time, the child’s predilection for this or that fairy tale changes, and this means that the baby grows, develops and poses new life questions. Psychologists' studies show that a child's life is programmed in his favorite fairy tales.

“Tell me what your favorite fairy tale is, and I will tell you who you are” - this is how psychoanalysts paraphrased the famous proverb. Parents can master fairy tale therapy on their own, but psychological counseling still won’t hurt. To gently influence the child’s behavior, the psychologist selects special fairy tales. Different fairy tales are selected for fairytale therapy: Russian folk and original ones, specially developed psychocorrective and meditative fairy tales, and many others. Often the psychologist invites the child to compose a fairy tale on his own. Writing fairy tales by a child and for a child is the basis of fairy tale therapy. Through a fairy tale, you can learn about children’s experiences that they themselves are not really aware of, or are embarrassed to discuss with adults. Through a fairy tale, you can, for example, learn about the attitude of a preschool child to the divorce of his parents.
Is fairy tale therapy useful for everyone?

Yes, fairy tale therapy is useful for everyone. There are special healing tales not only for young children, but also for teenagers and adults. A fairy tale will help solve many psychological problems. Just don’t consider it a salvation from all troubles. This is not a miracle cure that helps in one go, but long, hard work, the effect of which will be visible over time, but it will definitely be there. Of course, fairy tale therapy has special conditions when working with children: the child must clearly understand that there is a fairy-tale reality that is different from real life. The skill of such discrimination usually appears in a child by the age of 3.5-4 years, although, of course, in each specific case it is important to take into account the individual characteristics of the child’s mental development.
How to write a healing fairy tale?

If you notice that your child has some kind of emotional problem (for example, he is irritable, rude, capricious or aggressive), you need to come up with a fairy tale where heroes, their adventures and exploits will help your child solve this problem. First, we describe a hero who is similar to a child in age and character (a fairy tale we have invented can even begin with the words: “Once upon a time there was a boy very similar to you...”). Next, we show the life of the hero in a fairy tale so that the child himself sees the similarities with his own life (after all, fairy tale therapy is individual fairy tales for a specific person, it is necessary that the child can see himself in the main character). Then, the hero we have invented finds himself in a problematic situation, similar to the real situation of the child (he is also afraid of something, feels lonely, etc.) and we attribute all the experiences of the child to the hero (of course, according to the plot, many possibilities and ways should appear to overcome these obstacles). Then, the fairy-tale hero (and with him the child) begins to look for a way out of this situation and, of course, finds it.

Fictional tales are also very useful. For example, a child who likes to lie about trifles should read the fairy tale “The Braggart Hare”, a frivolous and playful child “The Adventures of Dunno”, a selfish and greedy child will benefit from listening to the fairy tale “About the Fisherman and the Fish”, and a timid and timid child - “About the Cowardly Hare” " In this case, you should not explicitly point out the similarity of the hero with the child - the child will draw his own conclusions. Just discuss the fairy tale together. Almost all art therapy methods will come to the rescue here: color therapy (you can draw your impressions of a fairy tale), play therapy (come up with a game based on a fairy tale or dramatize a favorite passage), and even music therapy (choose melodies that suit the mood of a particular plot). This will help the baby better assimilate the experience learned from the fairy tale, and parents will better understand their child.
When life becomes a fairy tale

The forms of working with fairy tales are as colorful and varied as life itself. Absolutely everything that surrounds us can be described in the language of fairy tales. If parents can correctly use all the possibilities of fairy tale therapy, they will provide their children with invaluable help.

Firstly, the child will know that his parents care about his problems.

Secondly, he will be able to learn this life rule: “you need to look for the strength to overcome difficulties within yourself.”
Thirdly, fairy tales show that hopeless situations do not exist, there is always a way out - you just need to look for it.

And “trips” to the fairy-tale world will develop the child’s imagination, teach him to improvise freely, without fear of danger, and give him the wonderful ability to use the magical power of creativity to solve problems. So go ahead, dear parents, and help your child with fairytale therapy!

The little fox couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned and thought, thought, thought. About how big the world is around and how many interesting things there are in it. And he, the little fox, is small and doesn’t know much yet.

IN in some amazing world, in a valley stretched among high and inaccessible mountains, in a magical forest, where amazing birds sing their wondrous songs, grew... Trees-Characters. These were unusual trees. Their appearance was a reflection of the characters of the people who lived far, far beyond the mountains.
Each Character Tree had four main branches extending from the trunk, and from them many small ones. These four branches had their own names: Attitude towards people, Attitude towards business, Attitude towards oneself, Attitude towards things. Each Tree-Character had its own branches, unlike others, with its own characteristic feature.

For children 6-11 years old.

Addresses the problem: Lack of self-confidence and self-confidence. Feelings of inferiority.

For children 4-7 years old.

Addresses the problem: Fear of the dark. Nightmares. General timidity.

In one forest lived the Gray Ear Hare, who had many, many friends. One day his friend Little Legs the Hedgehog invited the Bunny to his birthday party. The bunny was very happy about the invitation. He went to a distant clearing and picked a whole basket of strawberries for the Hedgehog, and then went on a visit.

His path lay through the forest thicket. The sun was shining, and Bunny quickly and cheerfully reached the Hedgehog's house. The hedgehog was very happy about the bunny. Then Squirrel Red Tail and Little Badger Soft Belly came to the hedgehog. They all danced and played together, and then drank tea with cake and strawberries. It was a lot of fun, time passed quickly, and it was already getting dark - it was time for the guests to get ready to go home, where their parents were waiting for them. The friends said goodbye to the hedgehog and went to their homes. And our Little Bunny set off on his way back. At first he walked quickly until the path was clearly visible, but soon it became completely dark, and the Bunny became a little scared.

For children 4-6 years old.

Addresses the problem: Impaired communication with peers. Increased aggressiveness.

For children 6-10 years old.

Addresses the problem: Fear of doing something wrong. Fear of school, mistakes, grades. General timidity.

The boy Zhenya did not know how to say the letter “r”.

They tell him:

Come on, Zhenya, say: “ship.”

And he says: “shovel.”

For children 5-9 years old.

Addresses the problem: Fear of the dark, increased anxiety. Nightmares. General timidity.

FAIRY TALE THERAPY. A selection of therapeutic fairy tales for children.

On the website smart-paradox.metdioz.ru wonderful fairy tales by modern writers on various topics have been selected. Such fairy tales are good to read to children before bed. To read in full, click on the topic and go to the source website.

This theme includes three fairy tales: “Theme and Dream”, “Brave Boy and Aunt Night”, “Tale about the Crib”.

Choose a fairy tale that suits your baby best and tell him before bed.

Before you talk, make sure that this topic is suitable for your child. After all, a baby may refuse to go to his bed because of fear of the dark, then he needs a completely different fairy tale. Or maybe he sees you too rarely and he wants more of your attention, then try to give your child at least half an hour of your time every evening and study with him, play or just talk. Agree in advance that after this he will go to bed. The child will look forward to this time every day. And he will associate going to bed with a pleasant event for him.

The children's room should evoke pleasant, bright feelings in the baby. It should not be a place where a child “serves his punishment” and in which he feels lonely and unnecessary.

Let this room become a fairy-tale for the baby, where every evening his mother or father tells him a good magical fairy tale.

This topic includes three fairy tales: “How Ilyusha fed his tummy”, “Why you need to eat”, “About Katyushina’s Capriciousness”.

Read all three fairy tales and choose the one most suitable for your baby.

But remember that there are some nuances to this topic. After all, you can’t force children to eat! Every child is able to decide for himself what, when and how much to eat. Children know how to listen to their body, and it can accurately determine what, what substances it is currently lacking. You especially shouldn’t force your baby to eat when he’s sick.

By offering food to a child with the help of persuasion and sometimes threats, we can “discourage” his interest in food, and then he will stop experiencing the joy of eating. He will perceive this process not as joyful, pleasant and useful, but as violence against himself.

But, as you know, all children love sweets very much. And often, instead of eating a bowl of soup, the child prefers to enjoy candy or cookies. That’s when fairytale therapy will come to your aid. Tell your baby an entertaining story instead of long, painful instructions.

There is one fairy tale in this topic: “How Andryusha greeted guests.” Tell it to your child before bed or not long before guests arrive. Or maybe you are going to visit yourself?

If your baby is shy, don't worry about it. This does not mean that your child is “bad” or “something different.” This is normal. Just give your baby more time to get used to new surroundings or new people. Some children need 15 minutes to feel calm, while others may need an hour. But gradually, over time, this period will become shorter and shorter.

Try not to compare your child with other children who behave more freely. Try not to push him or bother him: “What are you doing? Well, aren't you ashamed? Go play,” etc., and just leave him alone. Better help to correctly assess the situation, show everyone with your appearance that you are happy to have guests, that everything is in order. Then the baby will relax faster and become himself.

This section presents one fairy tale, “How Olya fell in love with kindergarten.”

Tell it to your child before bed, adding details from your baby’s life.

But first, try to find out from your child the true reasons why he does not want to go to kindergarten. Perhaps someone is offending him there, maybe he doesn’t like the teacher or the daily routine. Then you should think about transferring to another kindergarten. Otherwise, everyday stress can have a negative impact on the child’s health.

There are children who love privacy and, in principle, are not ready for such noisy places as kindergarten. Then, if you do not have the opportunity to stay at home with the child yourself, try to involve a grandmother or nanny in this. Ask your child what would be better for him: staying at home or going to kindergarten. Listen to your child. If he is categorically against the garden, then you must definitely find another way out of this situation. Otherwise, the baby will feel like an unhappy person, on whom nothing depends, and will feel betrayed by you, the parents. This mental pain will remain with him for the rest of his life and will negatively affect him.

This question is very important for raising a child, because he goes to kindergarten almost every day for several years. Namely, it was during these years that his character and attitude to life were formed. Therefore, this time should be remembered by the baby as the most joyful and happiest.

This theme includes two fairy tales: “The Tale of the Brave Alyo-shu” and “Boom, Boom, Boom.”

Choose a fairy tale that will be most understandable and close to your baby. Tell it before bed.

Fear of the dark is one of the most common fears in children. For many children, the fear of the dark is coupled with the fear of the unknown. Mostly children are afraid of monsters that supposedly lurk in the dark.

Some parents, for educational purposes, scare their children with the gray wolf, Baba Yaga, police, evil uncle, etc. It is very important to never do this! Firstly, the child will begin to be afraid, and not only of the dark. And secondly, when he grows up, he will understand that you deceived him and will stop trusting you.

Perhaps the child watches a lot of cartoons or films with various monsters. Try to limit your viewing time. Buy only joyful, kind, life-affirming cartoons, toys, read good books. Analyze why the child began to be afraid of the dark. When did this start? After what incident? Eliminate all possible causes. Make sure that joy, love and tranquility always live in the children's room.

This topic includes two fairy tales: “The Tale about the Country of Slobs”, “The Tale about Mishka and Order”. Read both fairy tales and tell your child the one that suits him best. Or maybe he will like both fairy tales?

Many children do not tend to clean up their things or toys. This often causes a lot of trouble for us adults.

You need to teach your child to clean up after themselves from early childhood and only by your own example. After each task, try to put your “workplace” in order and finish the job you started.

If you did something together with your baby, then put things in order together with him. Turn this process into an exciting game, without edification or instruction. Try to clean up the house with a smile on your face and in a good mood, so that your baby associates cleaning with something pleasant. And after every attempt to help you, be sure to praise your child.

This theme presents two fairy tales: “The Little Elephant and the Balls”, “The Kiss of Wishlist”. The first fairy tale will be more understandable to children three or four years old. The second tale is intended for older children. Choose a fairy tale and read it to your child before bed or the night before going to the store.

We all love to shop and get new things. But, as always, everything is good in moderation. Anything in large quantities becomes unnecessary and brings a lot of trouble.

Children often try to fill some inner emptiness with new things; they lack spiritual joy. But things can never fill it, or rather, they fill it only for a short time, after which a new purchase is needed. Try to fill this void not with new purchases, but with new emotional experiences. Teach your child to enjoy flowers, trees, the sun, a warm day, a kitten on the street, and birds singing.

Some parents feel guilty towards their baby for not paying enough attention to him or for not doing something the way they would like. And they ask the child for forgiveness by buying new toys. In this case, it is better to change your behavior, find time for the baby: play, take a walk, read an interesting book.

Teach your child to experience greater joy from communicating with you or other people, from the surrounding world of wildlife, rather than from many, sometimes unnecessary, things.

It is important not just to read a fairy tale to a child, but also to think about what caused the child’s behavior. Perhaps the baby attracts attention to himself in this way: he wants to spend more time with you, which is quite normal for a child.

Perhaps he lacks new experience, he does not know where, what to direct his energy to, he is bored.

Perhaps the baby is trying to assert himself, to show that he is also worth something. In this case, increase his self-esteem, praise him for any achievements, show him another way of self-affirmation.

Or maybe the child is simply copying someone’s behavior? If a parent allows himself to spank his child at least sometimes, this means that the child will do the same. With such actions we inform the child that it is okay to fight! If a child hits another child or you, do not hit him back under any circumstances. Explain in words about the harm of his action, tell him a fairy tale on this topic before going to bed, but never raise your hand to him. After all, if we allow ourselves this at least once, then the child will follow our example.

In this topic you can read the fairy tale “Fedya and the Computer”. Tell it to your child before bed.

The computer is very attractive to both children and adults. But there must be moderation in everything. After all, we all know that sitting for a long time in front of a computer screen has a bad effect on children's health. Try to fill your child's day with a variety of interesting activities and events. If possible, replace communication with the computer with live communication with friends, a walk, etc. Let the computer in your home be not a friend, but an assistant in difficult situations.

Tell your baby a story before bed. Think about how to make washing not only useful and necessary, but also a joyful process. How to turn it into a small holiday with which every new day begins.

This topic included “The Tale of the Missing Smile.” Complete it with details from your child’s life and tell him before bed.

Analyze the situation. Why did the child start snapping? When did this start, after what event? Maybe you somehow offended the baby, did not fulfill any of your promises. Maybe he wants to convey something to you, but doesn’t know any other way than to snap back. See if anyone close to the child sets such an example of communication. Try to eliminate all possible causes.

This topic includes two fairy tales: “The Tale of the Land of Sweet Buns”, “Sweet Tooth and Sweet Tooth”.

Choose the fairy tale that best suits your little one. Complete it with details from your child’s life and tell him.

Many people love sweets. And especially children. A child needs sweets for growth and development, but try to give your child healthy sweets: dried fruits, honey (if there is no allergy to it), fruits, vegetables, berries. And, if you decide to enjoy a cake or buns, it will be better if you prepare them yourself from natural products and together with your baby.

In this topic you can read the fairy tale “About the grasshopper Kuzya”. Tell it to your baby before bed.

Waking up a child in the morning can sometimes be very difficult. Try every morning in a gentle and joyful tone to tell your baby, while he is still lying in his bed, what fun things await him today: what he will need to do, where to go and how great it will all turn out for him. And in the evening, before going to bed, be sure to take stock of the day. Thank your child for all the tasks and assignments he has completed, and praise him for all his good deeds. Tell him that you are proud of him and love him very much. Then the baby will try every day to do as many good and useful deeds as possible to please you! And for this he will need to get up early.

This section includes two fairy tales: “How Egorka dressed,” “How Vanya learned to dress.”

Choose the fairy tale that is most suitable for your child and tell it before bed. Or maybe he will happily listen to both and draw the appropriate conclusion for himself!

This topic includes three fairy tales: “The Tale of the Frog Vasya”, “How Yulia Learned to Tell the Truth”, “The Palace of Vruley”.

Choose a fairy tale that is most suitable for your child’s age and read it to him.

Think about why the child began to deceive you. Maybe he is afraid to tell the truth, then don’t be too strict with him.

Perhaps he is copying someone. Children are very good at figuring out what is true and what is a lie. Be extremely frank and truthful with your child. After all, if your baby catches you in a lie, even the smallest and most insignificant, he will stop trusting you and will also begin to deceive. Children are brought up to imitate us adults!

Tell it to your child before bed or instead of watching TV.

Try to fill your baby's day with interesting and varied events.

Here you will find the fairy tale “Vitya and the New Shoes.”

Tell it to your baby before bed or before you get ready to cut his nails. Complete the fairy tale with details from your child’s life.

This topic includes two fairy tales: “How Valya learned to give gifts” and “The Tale of the Little Fox.”

Choose the fairy tale that best suits your child and which will be more understandable to him.

Think about where the child got this habit of taking someone else’s things without permission. Show your child what to do: if you are visiting, be sure to ask the owner’s permission before giving any item to your child. Even if it is a simple formality, the baby will remember your behavior and will continue to do the same. At home, before taking any of your child’s things, ask his permission. Respect your child, treat him like an adult. Then he will also treat you and other people.

Read the fairy tale “How Dima Stopped Biting His Nails” to your child.

If a child bites his nails, then most likely he has some kind of internal problem that he is worried about. That is, this is a way to relieve internal tension.

The causes of internal tension can be very diverse - unfavorable course of pregnancy and childbirth, insufficient feeding period, early separation from the mother, unstable, conflictual situation in the family, lack of physical contact, support and affection from parents. Perhaps he lacks your attention or has low self-esteem. Try to correct this situation, remove possible causes or compensate for them in some way.

But do not try to fight this habit: react calmly, do not focus the child’s attention on this, and do not shame or scold him in any way. Otherwise, you can drive the problem even deeper inside. If you concentrate the child’s attention on this bad habit, stopping him, then the danger of its consolidation increases many times over, since the baby sees this as a way to attract your attention.

In this topic you can read the fairy tale “How Vanya learned to be friends.” Complete it with details from your child’s life and tell it to your baby.

All children learn by imitation. Therefore, every time show your child how to behave with other children, how to play with them. For example, approach your baby on the playground and ask him (or his mother) for permission to play with his toy. Your baby will quickly learn this lesson and begin to do the same himself, i.e. ask, not take by force. Often children simply do not know how to behave in a given situation. And our task is to teach and show.

Also try not to take anything from your child without his consent, ask his permission before taking his thing. Although he is small, he is also a man. Treat your baby with respect, then he will also treat you and other people's property.

In this topic you will find “The Tale of the Magpie Dusya.” Tell it to your child.

If your baby likes to tease others, then most likely in this way he attracts attention to himself. Perhaps he doesn't know any other way to communicate. Spend more time with your child and show by your own example how to communicate with people. Or maybe he's copying someone? Maybe someone from his circle likes to give nicknames to people?

In any case, do not scold the baby and generally try to ignore such behavior. After all, he probably realized a long time ago that there is no need to do this and simply expects a response from you every time.

In this topic you will get acquainted with “The Tale of the Little Cloud”.

It is necessary to explain to the child how important it is to bring everything to its place: milk - in the refrigerator, clothes - in the closet, and do your “little things” in the potty. But under no circumstances force your child to sit on the potty.

If the baby cries at the sight of the potty and runs away, hide it for a while, do not remember or remind the child about it. It’s easier to wipe up a puddle on the floor than to correct a child’s psychological problems. Wait a while. The baby himself will understand what, how and where to do. And one fine day he will begin to go to the potty on his own without your reminders and without any violence. After all, probably none of us has ever met an adult who couldn’t go to the toilet!

It happens that children stop going to the potty after some event in their life: the appearance of a younger child in the family, the divorce of their parents, etc. Then try to pay more attention to him, because most likely in this way he wants to remind you of himself.

Tell your child the fairy tale “How Andryusha searched for his dream” and analyze the situation.

After all, children never do anything for nothing. This means that for some reason the child needs to sleep with you: maybe he lacks your attention, and he feels lonely and abandoned, or is simply afraid of the dark. In any case, try to eliminate all possible reasons for this behavior of the baby.

If your child lacks your attention, then there is nothing wrong if he sleeps with you for a while. This will only help strengthen your relationship with him and solve the baby’s internal problem.

This topic includes two fairy tales: “The Tale of the Eldest Daughter” and “The Tale of the Little Bear.”

When adding a new baby to your family, you always need to prepare in advance. And after a brother or sister is born, try not to forget about the older child. Indeed, in this case, he needs your attention more than ever, and right now you will have too little time to give it to him.

Therefore, try to involve the older child in caring for the younger one, but only so that it is a joy for him. Let him also feel responsible for the little family member, and then it will be easier for him to understand you. Do everything together and in a good mood. Let the baby feel that now you especially need his help, feel that he is loved and dear to you, as before!

Divorce of parents is a very complex topic. Divorce is associated with great stress for everyone involved, especially children. If possible, tell your child about the upcoming divorce in advance. Then he will have the opportunity to think about the bitter news, talk with both parents, and adapt to the new situation.

Clearly explain to your child the reasons for the divorce, and he will survive this situation much easier. Be sure to emphasize that parents can separate, but they cannot separate from their child. Explain that, although dad (mom) will not live with him, he (she) will still love his baby and take care of him.

Tell your child that he will be able to see his other parent and visit him. Well, if the parent does not want to date the child in the future, then it is necessary to explain to the child that the reason for such a decision does not lie with him.

When informing your child about the divorce, explain to him that he had absolutely nothing to do with it, that he did nothing to make it happen. After all, children sometimes think that the divorce was their fault.

And be sure to give your child as much attention as possible during this difficult period so that he does not feel abandoned and unnecessary.

Tell your child “The Tale of Generous Anya.”

Use your personal example to show your child how to share. But at the same time, try not to infringe on his property rights. After all, if a child plays with his own toy, this does not mean that he must necessarily give it to someone at the first request. This does not mean at all that the child is greedy. Every person has the right to use his things as much as he needs.

And, if the baby does not share his things that he no longer needs, does not treat him with food, etc., and you are afraid that this will develop into real greed, then fairy tale therapy can help you.

In this topic you will find the fairy tale “Beautiful Bed”.

If your child does not strive to clean up after himself, then by your personal example, show him every day how much pleasure you take in making your bed and putting things in order in the house. Show everyone with your appearance that you love cleanliness and order, and that you really like made beds. But do not force your child to make the bed, do not shame him, otherwise you will get the opposite result. Teach only by example and with the help of fairy tales!

Tell your child the fairy tale “How Egorka went for a walk.”

Also try to pay more attention to your baby.

If he often asks to be held, it means that in early childhood he was not carried in arms. Try to compensate for this gap in upbringing. Hold your child on your lap more often, play, read, draw together. As soon as the baby is “satiated” with your attention, he will “let you go” and become more independent.

And, if this problem is ignored, the child will feel abandoned, unloved and betrayed. All this will negatively affect his further development and life in general.

In this topic you will find two fairy tales: “Aska and Asenka”, “A Tale about the City of Upryamsk”.

Choose the fairy tale that best suits your little one and read it before bed. 32. Snitching

Tell your child the fairy tale “How Kolya Stopped Snitching.”

Complete it with details from the baby’s life.

This topic included “The Tale of the Cat Murka.” Read it to your child before bed.

Using personal example, regularly show your child how to treat animals. How to play with them, how to care for them. Under no circumstances should you kill animals in the presence of a child (and, of course, without him). Be a worthy example for your child in everything!

Those who liked fairy tales can read their Bedtime Stories. May you dream of a fairy tale, baby!
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Part 40 -
Part 41 -
Part 42 -

Dear friends, I think that among the readers of the community there is hardly a person who has not heard such a fashionable term now as fairytale therapy . We have heard, but there are always a lot of questions about how exactly you can use this modern method when raising your child, at what age can you use therapeutic fairy tales, when and how to tell them, and whether fairy tales really have such a magical effect.

In this article I will try to answer these and other possible questions of loving parents. I would like to note that I am not a professional psychologist or fairytale therapist. I gained all my knowledge from books, articles from magazines and the Internet, from communication with my daughter and other children, from practical work (solving a certain problem with the help of a fairy tale) and from reviews from readers who always keenly notice how fairy tales affect mood and the child’s behavior to overcome certain difficulties.

What is fairy tale therapy?

First, let's figure out what the concept of “fairytale therapy” means. Fairytale therapy is a movement in psychotherapy, which represents a psychotherapeutic effect on a person with the aim of correcting behavioral reactions, working through fears and phobias. Fairytale therapy methods are successfully used by psychotherapists for patients of different ages.

These methods are especially popular and effective in correcting behavior in children (both toddlers and preschoolers). At the same time, in the absence of pathologies, parents do not necessarily need to contact a professional psychotherapist. It will be enough to know the basic techniques of fairy tale therapy in order to help your child yourself and influence his behavior without much pressure.

Fairy tales can treat a huge number of child’s whims - laziness, reluctance to go to kindergarten, aggression, sloppiness, lies, problems with eating. Also, therapeutic tales are actively used in treatment fears, experiences associated with the loss of relatives or the appearance of a new family member. In the latter cases, sometimes the help of a professional fairytale therapist is required. He can show you exactly where to look for the problem. This is not always obvious, but it is very important: after all, it is not the symptom that should be treated, but the cause.

Why do fairy tales help children?

So why do therapeutic stories have such an impact on children? A fairy tale is the language of a child; he understands it better than moral teachings and instructions. Fairy tales help us to gently influence the child’s inner world, show the situation from a different angle, gain life experience and make it clear that our child is not the only one who has such a problem. In addition, despite the fact that the child is already able to distinguish the real from the fairy tale, these boundaries are still very blurred, and while listening to a fairy tale, the child truly experiences its events along with the characters.

At what age can fairy tale therapy be used for children?

At what age can therapeutic fairy tales be used? I would not recommend using story therapy for children under 2 years of age. The point is that they simply won't be effective. The child is not able to analyze a fairy tale, establish cause-and-effect relationships, or draw conclusions. After 2 years, you can gradually use simple therapeutic fairy tales to calm the baby, show an example of good behavior, warn about possible dangers, calm the baby during children's tantrums, and with problems with eating. Starting from the age of 3, you can use therapeutic fairy tales to the fullest, and they will be most effective.

Types of therapeutic tales

There are two types of therapeutic fairy tales that I would like to tell you about.

In such fairy tales, you make the main character a child who finds himself in a situation similar to the situation of your baby. Fairy tale should not directly repeat the plot from your baby’s life, but there should be similar. The child understands that he is not the only one who may find himself in a similar situation, and using the example of another child, he draws conclusions and learns to solve the problem on his own. Such fairy tales always develop according to a certain scenario:

• Meet the characters (Once upon a time there was a boy, Petya, who...). If the child is very small, then in the place of the hero there may be an animal or a toy. For older children, it is much more effective if the hero of the fairy tale is a real child. For preschoolers (after 4 years), it is advisable to introduce magical characters or magical objects into a fairy tale, and from the age of 5, magic is a prerequisite for a fairy tale (in most cases).
• Problem. The hero of the fairy tale faces a problem, a conflict, a fear inherent in your child.
• Ways to solve the problem. It tells what the hero of the fairy tale needs to do to cope with the problem. Often, he needs the help of magical objects.
• Climax. The hero of the fairy tale copes with the problem.
• Denouement. A therapeutic fairy tale should always have an ending. You can't leave the end open and unfinished.
• Morality. Conclusions made by the hero of the fairy tale. The moral should not be too long, 1-2 sentences. You should not discuss it with your child. He himself will draw conclusions on a subconscious level.

Fairy tales of this kind should not be too complex, with a confusing plot.

Examples

Let's give a couple of examples.

• Your child is overly sloppiness . He does not clean up his things, toys, etc. You tell him a fairy tale about a girl (boy) who magically ends up in the country of sluts and sees how the inhabitants of this country live. He draws conclusions about how terrible it is to be careless and promises himself to improve.
• Another common problem is the child does not want to eat healthy vegetables and fruits . Tell him a fairy tale about how the hero of the fairy tale overheard a conversation between vegetables about how healthy they are.

It is important to remember that the hero of this type of fairy tale is another child, not yours. Otherwise, you can cause your child’s denial by telling him directly about the problem, and such a fairy tale can harm rather than help.

2. Therapeutic tales about your child.

These fairy tales differ from the first type of fairy tales in that the main character is your baby. When telling fairy tales, you must definitely use some elements from the child’s life, the names of friends and family, the name of the street, introduce a favorite toy, household items, etc. into the fairy tale. Thus, the child will really believe what you are telling a fairy tale about himself.

Children are self-centered by nature. Gianni Rodari, in his book “The Grammar of Fantasy,” spoke about how important fairy tales about himself are for a child and what enormous potential they are endowed with.

The main difference between this type of fairy tale is that you endow the main character of the fairy tale (your child) with the quality that you want to instill in him. Roughly speaking, mom or dad create an ideal utopian situation for their baby, showing what can be achieved if desired.

Examples

For example, if your child impolite, in the fairy tale you show him to be very polite, he always greets everyone he meets and says thank you. If the child afraid of the dark, in the fairy tale, he is a brave hero who helps a little kitten who is lost in the dark. The child who has difficulty going to bed , in a fairy tale he always goes to bed on time and, falling asleep, finds himself in a magical land, where incredible adventures await him, etc.

Such tales differ from tales of the first type in that the problem you want to solve is not front and center. The positive quality of the child plays a supporting role, helping the hero fight enemies, protect the weak, etc. The plot of this tale may be a little more complicated, the therapeutic goal is more veiled.

Important points of practical fairytale therapy for children that should be remembered:

1. In order for the fairy tale to work, it is advisable tell it more than once. You can come up with several fairy tales on the same topic. If a child asks you to tell the same story over and over again, do not refuse him. This means that the plot of the fairy tale is really important to him.
2. Don't use therapeutic stories too often. Remember that they are like medicine that must be taken as directed. If used too often, fairy tale therapy may lose its effectiveness. By the way, children are much smarter than many adults think. At a certain age, my daughter herself asked me to tell her a fairy tale if she was faced with some problem, fear, or realized that she was not behaving as she should.
3. You shouldn’t explain the moral of a fairy tale to your child.. He himself will draw conclusions about what is good and what is bad, what should be done - often on a subconscious level.
4. Don't forget about such a great tool as humor. A fairy tale with jokes, is perceived more easily by the child and is better remembered. Not to mention the fact that jokes bring parents and children closer together.
5. Don't tell yourself that you can't come up with a therapeutic story! You are the best fairytale therapist for your baby, because no one except you knows his problems and experiences so well. You can always turn to books and the Internet for help, read other fairy tales on this topic, and then come up with your own, somewhat similar to the others, but created taking into account your specific situation and, of course, with love.

I hope that with the help of simple tips from this article, you will be able to help your children solve age-related problems with the help of therapeutic fairy tales, without resorting to such an ineffective method as punishment.