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Cecile Lupan

Believe in your child

To my parents and children -

To the one without whom this book would not exist, since there would be no love, support and child

Dear Russian reader!

Could I have imagined in 1982, when I first experienced the joy of introducing a small child to the world of knowledge, that my book would be read not only by France, but also by Russia. Russia, with which the fate of three generations of women in my family is connected! Russia, which has always remained for me a symbol of poetry and romance! Now Russia is showing interest in my small experiment, the sole purpose of which is to create conditions for the early development of children, “giving them our shoulders.” I hope with all my heart that those parents who look at their child the same way I do can find inspiration in this book.

Good luck to you!

Cecile Lupan

Preface to the Russian edition

The problems of accelerated development and learning of children at an early age are not new to our reader. Of course, many will immediately think: “Well, yes, it’s just like the Nikitins!” Well, they're probably right. B.P. and L.A. The Nikitins are known as the pioneers of this business in Russia. Those who are interested in the issues of raising young children know their books, and perhaps they themselves have been in their family, adopted something for themselves, disagreed with something, rejected something with indignation...

What is the attitude towards early childhood development in other countries? Is anyone developing scientific methods for this approach to children? It turns out that he does it very seriously. An example of this is the book of Cecily Lupan, a person who is deeply immersed in the problems of raising and educating children.

This book will certainly arouse interest, because in fact, in our country, except for the same Nikitins and their few followers, no one has written about the specific conditions and opportunities for the development of children in the family, and not in kindergartens.

The main idea of the author: children do not require attention-care, but attention-interest, which only their parents can give them. They are the best teachers for kids. S. Lupan does not blindly copy the methods of the American scientist Glen Doman, head of the Philadelphia Institute for Accelerated Child Development, she is creative in his recommendations, trying to achieve success where she initially failed. At the same time, the author unswervingly follows his basic advice: you need to remember that children love to study most of all, “even more than eating candy”; but teaching is a game that must be stopped before the child gets tired of it. The main thing is that the child is “underfed” and gets up from the “table of knowledge” with a feeling of constant “hunger”, so that he always wants “more.”

It is necessary to cultivate self-confidence in a child. That is why the book constantly repeats recommendations - not to force things and to finish any lesson with your child with the exercise, the element that he is good at.

S. Lupan's book is based on French material: the realities of French history, European art, French literature and language. Therefore, during the translation, it became necessary to replace some of the examples given by the author - for example, instead of La Fontaine’s fables, the Russian edition considers the fables of I.A. Krylova; instead of poems by French poets, which, according to S. Lupan, should help children understand the meaning of certain “eternal” problems (love, death, etc.), in some cases others are used that are more understandable to the child, from our point of view , poetic lines. The grammatical forms of the French language, on which the author relies when explaining to the child the basics of morphology and syntax, are replaced by the corresponding forms of the Russian language. The texts of the rhymes and songs have also undergone changes.

In addition, materials on the history and geography of France, as well as on the history of painting, are presented in abbreviated form as an example, following which the Russian reader can build his studies.

Sometimes, when reading a book, it may seem that the author often repeats himself, sometimes even contradicts himself, or considers some, in our opinion, elementary problems in too much detail, and philosophizes slyly: it is unlikely that special classes are needed for the child to understand where his hand is, where leg, who is coming towards you - a cat or a dog... But all these are trifles. Any reader, advanced or beginner, will find a lot of interesting things in this book and, based on its recommendations, will be able to create a development program for their child.

I want to tell you everything about the books that are in children's early childhood I was particularly influenced or helped.

In those days, the idea of early development under the general slogan “After three it’s too late.” A mass of gurus and their followers appeared, babies were taught to read, identify objects of art, swim and play the violin.

I bought the book by Cecile Lupan "Believe in your child", when the baby was a year or a year and a half old. Frenchwoman Lupan decided that she would develop her children from the cradle. She was a little late with the eldest - she was already born :) She was eight months old, and Cecile was pregnant with her second daughter, when she started going to all sorts of seminars on early development. In the first half of the book, she describes these workshops in detail.

By the way, she went to see Glen Doman at the Institute for the Realization of Human Potential. This American dealt with the problems of children with brain damage and their rehabilitation (it was the same mother in LiveJournal who constantly visited him, whose child could not look at one point or hold his head up, and she claimed that at the age of three he wrote poetry in the spirit of - and we were racing in a car about Provence and Bordeaux was hitting our heads and tango was sounding. I was terribly surprised then and we discussed it here for a long time, it turned out that all the texts were typed by the mother, supposedly knowing where exactly the child, who had no control over his movements, wanted to place his finger on the keyboard.

My impression is that due to constant frustration from the illness and mental imperfection of the child, the mother went crazy, and she began to live in a world of fiction and fantasy, imagining her stormy spiritual life for the incapable child. Among other things, she said that this half-baby reads an entire page with his eyes in a very short time. a short time. I counted - I came up with something like this - the volume of "War and Peace" in 23 minutes.

The attitude towards Doman in medical circles is ambiguous. Many openly consider him (now) a charlatan, profiting from the desperation of parents with children with severe brain dysfunction, a ruthless tyrant who forces them to do hundreds of grueling exercises a day - or it is their own fault that you are not successful. I saw a video of these exercises - it resembles torture, to be honest.)

In the book, Lupan Doman deals with the intensive development of infants - you need to start at six months and push history, geography, mathematics, reading, literature, fine arts and all that stuff into the child. Cecile tells in detail what lectures were given to her at the Institute for Accelerated Child Development and what children were shown - they sight-read, named the names of kings and presidents, learned several languages at once and chose cards with words like “plankton” and “hermaphrodite” according to the description of concepts. The first part of the book is devoted to a description of these techniques, plus there is also playing the violin and early swimming.

Returning home, she prepared a huge number of cards on history, biology, geography, mathematics, etc. and began teaching lessons to her several-month-old daughter. The entire second part of the book is about what sciences and things a child should be taught in the first year of life:

speech development and poetry,
physical activity,
reading and writing,
foreign languages,
logic and counting
story
geography
history of art and drawing
music
swimming
horse riding and sports
other areas of knowledge.

She's such a very stubborn mom, that's why there detailed descriptions and cards and activities. Well, having worked hard, she immediately began writing a book - when the children were about four and three years old, she had already generalized her knowledge and experience into a whole book :)

I’ll say right away that even with my natural tediousness and persistence, her tediousness went off scale for me :) When she explains in detail to a two-year-old child how the Capetian dynasty was created, how Hugo Capet secured the decision to inherit the throne - it’s boring even for me, and the child did not demand this information voluntarily - This is her lesson, and according to the plan, she needs to teach a history lesson. But then I was impressed that three-year-old children at the Klimt exhibition corrected their father - no, dad, this is not “The Kiss,” this is “The Accomplishment,” “The Kiss” is located on the floor below.

I highly recommend this book, even just for general anthropological interest - as other crazy parents do! There are many ideas for development that can be applied without lesson plans and daily coaching. Unless you're that tortured parent who collapses under the weight of shame that your child is already seven months old and you still haven't made him learn how long the largest rivers in the world are :)

Lupan's main method is to prepare a huge number of different cards, and then quickly show them to the child during sessions of one lesson - be it masterpieces of painting or numbers and examples of addition. And I believe, I really believe that at some point the child, like a monkey, will begin to recognize these cards! If you are a parent for whom it is very, very important to tell others that at two years old your child is already reading - the book contains detailed recommendations, how to achieve this (in reality or illusion). All this requires quite a lot of hard work and special investment of time.

But I liked some of the ideas there. For example, I already talked about the idea of a book made from photographs - with the child himself or his toys and large, clear captions and phrases at the bottom - in some photo article. Great idea It seems to me that for the initial teaching of reading - precisely in phrases. It's easy to do - you take a photo of something familiar to the child, the photos are printed and white stripes with phrases and signatures are drawn separately, everything is assembled on rings. This was in the pre-mass computer era, now it’s easy to make the entire page at once on the computer - a picture and then a signature in large font. You can make a story of a child's day - how he got up, washed, walked, ate. Maybe a story with his toys (exactly what Cecile did - a story about the adventures of the stuffed elephant Babar).

Separately, I liked the advice to give small children not children’s pictures, but works of art - they say that they are more complex and stimulate the brain more. But it’s clear why I liked this advice - I’m an artist, and as a little girl I could spend hours looking at my parents’ sets of postcards with Tanagra figurines or paintings from a Dresden gallery. So I put the albums with reproductions on the lowest shelf and let the child look at them whenever she wanted. And she absolutely loved Hans Memling's album. (I, like her, used pictures from there to explain with us). Well, the fact is that you can tell children anything - they don’t know everything, so no matter what you explain, everything will be on an equal footing.

Lupan's book has not been translated into English, so only the French version is available on Amazon:
Croire en son enfant(Replies)

I had this 1993 edition:

Well, in addition, there was another bestseller of those times, Cecile also read it - the book by the Japanese Masaru Ibuka “After Three It’s Too Late.” Interestingly, I read it only now, when I was remembering Lupanov’s book. She is somehow very simple, but she also repeats this spell - start with diapers, otherwise you won’t have time.

I will write what I think about this early development in a separate post later. But what is noteworthy is that Lupan herself has children a year apart, and she writes that what suited the eldest, the younger was not interested in. It seems to me, from my reading memories, that she, like many young parents, enthusiastically invested everything in her older child, but by the second child she was already a little exhausted. And the child did not learn all this with such zeal, so the picture of a very working system swayed slightly for me - maybe it was just her eldest who was trying. And now I’m terribly interested in what happened to these girls; according to my calculations, they were born in 82-83, and now they themselves are the age of their mother. That is, the circle has been completed - so what happens to them? Remember how we read what happened to the Nikitin children? Since it was not translated into English, all the information is probably only in French. If any of you are French-speaking and find it, please tell me?

“Believe in your child” - this is the title of her book, published in 1987, by the author Cecile Lupan. She is not a psychologist or a teacher - she is a professional mother who has described in detail her communication and activities with her daughters in the form of a diary.

Today it is Toolkit on early development is known and popular all over the world. Cecile Lupan shares with parents her thoughts on how to adapt a child in life and give him good health and a healthy psyche, confidence, cheerfulness and an extraordinary desire for freedom and new discoveries.

The entire editorial team of the site admits that the ideas of this sunny mother are very inspiring. Judge for yourself!

1. A child is not a vessel that needs to be filled, but a fire that needs to be lit.

2. The best teachers for a child are his parents.

3. Learning is a game that should be stopped before the child gets tired.

4. It’s impossible not to notice the difference between happy child and a child who is forced to do something by force.

5. Lack of coercion is the principle by which we are guided; this is our strength.

6. Many of us conceal within ourselves enormous energy, creative forces and a reserve of patience that can move mountains if trouble happens to one of our children. Why not try to use these treasures for our “normal” children?

7. Instead of looking at a babbling toddler as a human larva, see him as a student preparing his doctoral dissertation.

8. Everyone knows that a child will speak the way they speak around him. Depending on the environment, it will be expressed in a refined and refined language, or figurative, interspersed with slang words, or, finally, in a primitive and rough language.

9. Speech begins to develop at birth, and not at the moment when the child utters the first word.

10. For the development of a child’s speech, it is very important to read to him out loud, preferably daily. Instilling in your child a love of reading books is your main task.

11. Expansion vocabulary baby should be your daily task. Therefore, watch your speech when talking to your baby, avoid slang and vulgar words.

12. Learning to read in school starts at the age of six, which is too late. By the age of six, the fabulous ability to perceive knowledge is quickly depleted.

13. If a child's brain has not been trained intellectually during the first years of life, it will be very difficult for him to achieve a high level of understanding, especially with the often simply repulsive methods of schooling.

14. It is believed that optimal age to start training a baby - 3-6 months. Starting within a year is also a good idea. After two years, teaching a child will become more difficult every year.

15. Why can't you start with the alphabet? Because the basis of every learning is the principle: from the known and concrete to the unknown and abstract. The letters of the alphabet are a complete abstraction. The elements of language are words, not letters.

16. Humanity needs geniuses. There are no evil geniuses - this is absurd. There are no ineffective geniuses, then these are nothing more than “walking encyclopedias”. A true genius is measured by the results of his activities. Most of the geniuses at school were mediocre students (Einstein, Edison, etc.), they were bored there, like most children; but unlike the others, they managed to get out unharmed!

17. Intelligence is the ability to possess knowledge.

18. All human knowledge is divided into ten branches: Biology, History, Geography, Music, Art, Mathematics, Human Physiology, Applied Sciences, Languages, Literature.

19. If you are not sure that leading your child along the path of knowledge is great happiness, do not do it. It will be better for both you and him. Always stay cheerful and don't stress.

20. Take care of yourself, sleep well and eat well.

21. Be sure to trust your child. If he made a mistake, maybe he just wanted to tease you or needed you to repeat something again.

22. Never deceive your baby. Keep all your promises to him.

23. Support his endeavors.

24. When correcting mistakes, never make unpleasant comments, and with every correct answer, do not forget to praise.

25. Stop activities before he gets tired.

26. Always answer your child's questions. If you don't know something, don't be afraid to admit it and show your child where you will look for the answer.

27. Express your opinion, always try to justify it.

28. Don’t forget that you are raising the future parents of your grandchildren.

29. Make acquiring new knowledge a well-deserved reward for your baby.

30. A child is not a calculating machine! He must have an emotional and personal attitude towards everything he learns.

31. You cannot make a walking encyclopedia out of a child; he must have his own culture.

32. What kind of family life is this when the mother is constantly obsessed with worrying about how to invest the next portion of knowledge in her child?

33. Each individual is both a product of the influence of genetic inheritance and the environment in which he grows. The only difference for us, parents, is that we cannot change anything in genes, but the influence of the environment is a factor that, at least in the first years of a child’s life, almost completely depends on us!

34. If a child loses interest, it means that you are boring him with what he already knows.

35. Children's enthusiasm is very deceptive, and adults often take wishful thinking.

36. Children enjoy looking at reproductions of paintings and sculptures so much that these activities become the most desired reward for them.

37. Children love to study much more than to eat sweets!

38. If it is not so easy to interest a child in reading or mathematics, then when studying various fields of art, the opposite picture is observed - the child begins to be interested in it instantly. Moreover, this is also typical for those children who seem, at first glance, to be unable to concentrate their attention.

39. During the first year of life, the education process focuses on four main tasks: 1. to help the child gain a positive awareness of himself and his environment; 2. stimulate, as far as possible, all his five senses; 3. encourage the child to develop his motor activity; 4. lay the foundations of the language.

40. Parents should learn to feel the difference between the cry of a child who wants to sleep and other cases when the child calls for help by crying.

41. A child can only become interested in the graphic form of a word if this word is somehow close to him.

42. Never say: “This is not a child’s business, you will understand everything when you grow up.”

43. The child seems to be surrounded by windows covered with black paper. You don’t need to tear off all the paper at once and blind him with a bright and unexpectedly gushing light, but every time he notices such a window, help him find the loose corner of the paper, starting with which, he will gradually remove it all at his own rhythm. If you tell your baby that these windows simply don’t exist for him, he risks spending his life in darkness!

44. Don’t be afraid to show that you don’t know something, as well as your joy at learning something new.

45. Leave it to the child free time so that he can reflect and put his new knowledge in order.

46. Many people are afraid to give paints, brushes, pencils to very young children: they will paint everything around them, ruin them, tear them apart. But kids who were once allowed to chew cardboard books, tear up old magazines and draw with pencils anywhere and as much as they wanted, do less damage than those who were not allowed to do this.

47. Never tell a child that he sings out of tune! The correct reproduction of musical sounds is closely related to self-confidence.

48. Never say that he is deaf, even when the child cannot hear you. One of the “well-wishers” will definitely convey your words to him. And, besides, if you are able to think something like that, the child will immediately feel it.

49. You cannot offer your child something edible as a reward. This is bad not only from a health point of view, but also psychologically. Your respect and good opinion are the best reward for the child.

50. Nothing is transmitted to a child like fear.

Cecile Lupan

Believe in your child

To my parents and children -

To the one without whom this book would not exist, since there would be no love, support and child

Dear Russian reader!

Good luck to you!

Cecile Lupan

Preface to the Russian edition

Preface

I first saw Cécile Bray-Loupan on Radio France Inter, where Jacques Pradel and I invited her to participate in a program devoted to the problems of raising children.

Our topic was the child's early inclination to read. Cécile Bray-Loupan is one of those rare people who immediately sensed the difference between developing a child’s innate “inclination” to play with words and “teaching” him to read. Please note that I am writing about the development of an "aptitude" and not the early "learning" of reading. The word “education” carries the idea of work, which is incompatible with a small child, and causes a cry of indignation both in Europe and overseas with the demand to “leave the little ones their childhood.” The problem is that today, in an effort not to overload babies with school knowledge, we go to the other extreme, not satisfying their early curiosity.

Because of this, young children get very bored.

In our society, the ones who miss the most are “todlers,” as the Americans call them, that is, children aged from one and a half to three years.

Super durable, super complex, super stimulating, colorful plastic toys don't hold their interest. However, let's be fair:

these toys entertain them for exactly three minutes. The box they come in is four. Pots in the kitchen cupboard keep them entertained for longer periods of time.

But there are things that really interest kids: they are great at changing the image on a small screen using a remote control and never tire of repeating “Hello” into the handset of your phone by pressing the buttons on the device. Neither slaps on your hands, nor a luxurious phone in the shape of a pink Mickey, given in the hope that it will replace the real one, do nothing, and you are constantly tormented by the worry of how to find at least two minutes of peace without giving up complex, hard-won devices .

The only way to calm your child down briefly is to watch the latest episode of “Babar” with him, while explaining each picture, or turn on his favorite program “Numbers and Letters.”

Many young children love to play with written and spoken words and, without knowing it, acquire a rudimentary ability to read, which, unfortunately, never develops.

To my parents and children -
To the one without whom this book would not exist, since there would be no love, support and child
Translation from French by E. I. Duchesne, N. L. Suslovich, Z. B. Cheskis
Dear Russian reader!
Could I have imagined in 1982, when I first experienced the joy of introducing a small child to the world of knowledge, that my book would be read not only by France, but also
Russia. Russia, with which the fate of three generations of women in my family is connected! Russia, which has always remained for me a symbol of poetry and romance! Now Russia is showing interest in my small experiment, the sole purpose of which is to create conditions for the early development of children, “giving them our shoulders.” I hope with all my heart that those parents who look at their child the same way I do can find inspiration in this book.
Good luck to you!
Cecile Lupan

Preface to the Russian edition
The problems of accelerated development and learning of children at an early age are not new to our reader. Of course, many will immediately have the thought: “Well, yes, it’s the same as
Nikitins! Well, they're probably right. B.P. and L.A. The Nikitins are known as the pioneers of this business in Russia. Those who are interested in the issues of raising young children know their books, and perhaps they themselves have been in their family, adopted something for themselves, disagreed with something, rejected something with indignation...
What is the attitude towards early childhood development in other countries? Is anyone developing scientific methods for this approach to children? It turns out that he does it very seriously. An example of this is the book of Cecily Lupan, a person who is deeply immersed in the problems of raising and educating children.
This book will certainly arouse interest, because in fact, in addition to the same
Nikitins and their few followers, no one wrote about the specific conditions and opportunities for the development of children in the family, and not in kindergartens.
The main idea of the author: children do not require attention-care, but attention-interest, which only their parents can give them. They are the best teachers for kids.
S. Lupan does not blindly copy the methods of the American scientist Glen Doman - leader
Philadelphia Institute for Accelerated Child Development, she is creative in its recommendations, trying to achieve success where she initially failed. At the same time, the author unswervingly follows his basic advice: you need to remember that children love to study most of all, “even more than eating candy”; but teaching is a game that must be stopped before the child gets tired of it. The main thing is that the child is
“underfed” and got up from the “table of knowledge” with a feeling of constant “hunger”, so that he always wanted “more”.
It is necessary to cultivate self-confidence in a child. That is why the book constantly repeats recommendations - not to force things and to finish any lesson with your child with the exercise, the element that he is good at.
S. Lupan's book is based on French material: the realities of French history, European art, French literature and language. Therefore, when translating, it became necessary to replace some of the examples given by the author - for example, instead of fables
Lafontaine's Russian edition examines the fables of I. A. Krylov; instead of poems by French poets, which, according to S. Lupan, should help children understand the meaning of certain “eternal” problems (love, death, etc.), in some cases others are used that are more understandable to the child, from our point of view , poetic lines. The grammatical forms of the French language, on which the author relies when explaining to the child the basics of morphology and syntax, are replaced by the corresponding forms of the Russian language. The texts of the rhymes and songs have also undergone changes.
In addition, materials on the history and geography of France, as well as on the history of painting, are presented in abbreviated form as an example, following which the Russian reader can build his studies.
Sometimes, when reading a book, it may seem that the author often repeats himself, sometimes even contradicts himself, or considers some, in our opinion, elementary problems in too much detail, and philosophizes slyly: it is unlikely that special classes are needed for the baby to understand where his hand is, where leg, who is coming towards you - a cat or a dog...
But these are all minor things. Any reader, advanced or beginner, will find a lot of interesting things in this book and, based on its recommendations, will be able to create a development program for their child.

Preface
I first saw Cécile Bray-Loupan on Radio France-Inter, where Jacques and I
Pradel invited her to participate in a program dedicated to the problems of raising children.
Our topic was the child's early inclination to read. Cécile Bray-Loupan is one of those rare people who immediately sensed the difference between developing a child's innate "inclination" to play with words and "teaching" him to read. Please note that I am writing about the development of an "aptitude" and not the early "learning" of reading. The word “education” carries with it the idea of work, which is incompatible with a small child, and causes a cry of indignation both in Europe and overseas with the demand to “leave the little ones their childhood.” The problem is that today, in an effort not to overload babies with school knowledge, we go to the other extreme, not satisfying their early curiosity.
Because of this, young children get very bored.
In our society, the ones who miss the most are “todlers,” as the Americans call them, that is, children aged one and a half to three years.
Super durable, super complex, super stimulating, colorful plastic toys don't hold their interest. However, let's be fair: these toys entertain them for exactly three minutes. The box they come in is four. Pots in the kitchen cupboard keep them entertained for longer periods of time.
But there are things that really interest kids: they are great at changing the image on a small screen using a remote control and never tire of repeating “Hello” into the handset of your phone by pressing the device’s buttons. Neither slaps on your hands, nor a luxurious phone in the shape of a pink Mickey, given in the hope that it will replace the real one, do nothing, and you are constantly tormented by the worry of how to find at least two minutes of peace without giving up complex, hard-won devices .
The only way to calm the child down briefly is to watch the latest episode of “Babar”1 with him, while explaining each picture, or turn on his favorite program “Numbers and Letters.”
Many young children love to play with written and spoken words and, without knowing it, acquire a rudimentary ability to read, which, unfortunately, never develops because no one helps them in their discovery. What can you demand from a child who is forced to learn everything on his own!? Snatching from the screen what is intended for adults, he picks up bit by bit everything he can...
This is the lot of curiosity of many children who can read the words on a jar
"Coca-Cola" long before the teacher teaches them to read very boring texts.
However, it is very likely that once they reach the fateful period of compulsory education - six years - they will lose their enthusiasm. After all, the thirst for discovery inherent in the child’s brain at a certain time coincides with the ease of assimilation, which then disappears. That is why it is necessary to satisfy the baby’s curiosity at the moment when it manifests itself.
This is precisely the task that passionate mother Cécile Brai-Loupan undertakes while raising her two young daughters. We met them when they were one two and the other three years old. Having fun, they recognized Renoir's paintings and sang about the history of kings
1

France. You read it correctly, namely:
"having fun"!
This generous young woman was not afraid to summarize her personal experience in the book, trying to pass it on to other parents. She has succeeded wonderfully in this, and many of you will be able to reveal to your kids the vast world of communication in all its diversity.
I am sure that teachers will also not remain indifferent to this book, since they are already beginning to reconsider the too narrow age limits established very long ago for the transition to preparatory education.
Edwig Antje
A child is not a vessel that needs to be filled, but a fire that needs to be lit.
SAGE
Mom, you love me like your heart, and I love you like a holiday
GALYA (4 years old)
Part I. LIFE IN A FAMILY IS THE MOST EXCITING ONE
ADVENTURE
INTRODUCTION
July 1969. IN small house, lost in the Ardennes forests, my father and uncle are trying to connect an antediluvian battery to a portable TV. From the height of my fourteen years, I watch this fuss from afar and surrender to the power of stormy teenage “mental experiences.” My mother is in Leningrad, where she is studying Russian (a funny foreshadowing of my future marriage), so my younger brother and I are entrusted to the care of my father.
Tonight man will set foot on the moon. The first steps will be taken around three o'clock in the morning.
Father and uncle are going to stay awake. In the evening, around eleven o’clock, tired, I go to bed. I wake up the next day in a strange state. Seeing my father still very excited, I ask him:
- But why didn’t you wake me up?
- You didn’t ask me about this!
Indeed! So I missed the event of the century, the great “international communion”.
My father was far from indifferent to the upbringing of his children; moreover, he really wanted them to share his passionate love for culture. As a child, he suffered deeply from not being allowed to use the home library and, like a good father, could not allow his children to experience similar deprivations. Therefore, we always had at our disposal a lot of books and records, as well as his enormous erudition. He willingly answered our questions, honestly expressed his opinion on any subject, but always gave us the right to choose.
Subsequently, I never regretted that he did not wake me up that night. Although I missed a unique event, I got something more - a lesson my father taught me that I have learned for the rest of my life: if a child is not adjusted accordingly, he can miss something significant without noticing it. It is not enough for the baby to know about it; it is often necessary to infect him with your enthusiasm.

Several years before the events described, I found myself last in the class in terms of academic performance (the first year of study at the lyceum), since as a result of dyslexia2 I had difficulty reading. This was a wake-up call. Mom immediately took the bull by the horns.
Psychological tests, assessment of lost time, prescription of treatment. As a result, a closeness arose between her and me and existed for six months that few children are lucky enough to experience.
Every week we went to a psychologist, who, under the watchful eye of my mother, gave me new exercises, checked the old ones and developed our program for the week.
These exercises made me big interest. On the pieces of paper were depicted multi-colored cells that corresponded to the different roles of words in a sentence and various forms their education. On one sheet of paper are written words that are subjects and predicates, on the other - various additions, on the third - nouns in a certain gender and number, etc. There are more and more sheets of paper, and we go through them every day, looking for the one we need. I pronounce phrases and with each word I knock on the corresponding square with my hand. Thus, before my eyes, grammar is decomposed into tangible elements. It's easy and fun! Even daily dictation is not a burden, but a testing ground for my new knowledge.
Thanks to this, I was not only able to easily continue my studies, but, most importantly, I saw completely new way acquisition of knowledge: individual and structural. This reasonable approach, which I absolutely need today in order to build my “lessons” on history, geography and other subjects for two-three year olds, I gained to a very large extent thanks to this method of studying French grammar (which I did with my mother for almost twenty years back).
But it's not only that. Mom devoted one hour a day completely to me. I felt like she was a like-minded person. I saw that She notes my slightest success and rejoices at it. Of course, when I returned to the normal rhythm of school, I really missed such involvement, but I was able to maintain the belief that I meant a lot to my mother. This completely changed our relationship. Children often need proof of their parents' love, even if this love is obvious.
Until I was twenty-three, issues of motherhood did not concern me. I have had a brilliant career. And it was not at all out of idleness that she suddenly changed her views. I just realized that I need to have children.
Long before I met the future father of my children, I finally chose my destiny. It seemed wonderful to me to carry a child under my heart, to give him life, to feed him, to care for him, but this was not enough.
If I can give life to a person, why should the greatest joy of introducing my child to the world of knowledge go to others (who, of course, will feel it much less than I do).
To be honest, I knew almost nothing about the abilities and potential of a small child. However, I was absolutely sure of two things: a passionate teacher can make the most boring subject interesting; and there is knowledge that we acquire much later than we should. The most striking example is foreign languages. How is it that, up to the present day, serious studies begin only at the age of ten or twelve? After all, we know people who speak two, three or more languages and speak them fluently because they learned the second and subsequent languages in early childhood. Remember how much effort it takes to force yourself to think in another language and answer the teacher, often with a terrible accent. So it was with me. And if this is not the case with you, then you are certainly an exception.
I remember very well how shocked I was when I realized that the problem of learning foreign languages too late is well known. And yet no one has yet
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raised this issue quite seriously with the Ministry of Education! Since then, the reasons for shock have increased significantly, and I stopped being surprised.
Captivated by these ideas, at the same time I still did not understand how to behave with a very young child. I knew that I didn’t need to be too coy with him, that I needed to surround him with love, but the rest, by the way, the most important thing, I didn’t understand at all. I thought that we should wait until he was six years old, he would go to school, and I would supplement the school education.
I imagined how I would read books with him in order to instill a love of reading, retelling ancient myths and especially the Bible (teaching the basics of culture cannot be completely entrusted to school). The same goes for art and music. Regarding music, I knew that I needed to make sure that the baby did not develop the aversion that is often associated with the usual system of learning to play instruments.
These were the thoughts that possessed me when I met the future father of my children, Victor.
In the three years leading up to the birth of our eldest daughter, I thought a lot about these issues and tried to develop my intuition. My mother-in-law helped me a lot with this.
An excellent storyteller, she literally immersed me in the childhood of Victor, his brother and sister.
For eight years, this woman stubbornly struggled with infertility and, with great difficulty, gave birth to her first child. Therefore, she had enough time to do her own soul-searching. Yes, despite difficult conditions life in Soviet
Union (eight-hour workday, endless lines for groceries, primitive electrical appliances), my husband’s mother decided that she should give her children a broader education than was customary.
Since she herself was Russian, and her husband was Romanian, and each of them spoke both languages, bilingual speech was constantly heard in the house.
The children very quickly got used to addressing their mother in Russian and their father in Romanian.
In the Soviet Union there are educational establishments, where, in addition to the regular program, children receive deeper knowledge either foreign language, either in music, mathematics or other subjects. My mother-in-law sent her three children to a French special school, where, starting from the second grade, intensive training was provided French. Thus, as adults, they were fluent in three languages.
In addition, from the age of five she taught them music. Not everything went smoothly here. However, the results are very encouraging. Victor studied according to the regular program from 5 to 12 years old.
Then he got tired of it and stopped learning to play the piano. He began to study harmony on his own and began performing in an ensemble with his friends. Now he knows music much more widely, can improvise, plays several instruments and easily accompanies. This is an educated amateur. In addition, he learned to read at the age of five, which did not hinder him at all at school, quite the contrary!
What amazed and inspired me about this upbringing was that I saw its results: young men who were in every way similar to their peers, but they had more arrows in their quivers. This did not traumatize them at all (contrary to the views of some ordinary people), but it also did not make them happier, since knowledge and the ability to be happy are not interrelated things.
It is very useful to observe adults who received a standard upbringing.
How many times have I been warned against special education, citing unfortunate children as examples. Usually, after searching a little, in almost every such case I discovered that there was discord in the family, which obviously affected nervous system the child is much stronger than his early development. These well-intentioned people, confident that their fears are justified, are usually completely insensitive to anything new: “I was raised this way and I feel great, why shouldn’t it be good enough for my children?” And in order to free themselves from all responsibility, they fence themselves off with the concept of “norm”. This reminds me of a conversation with the director primary school, very pretty

a woman who led her institution admirably. We discussed the possibility of the child entering preparatory class at an earlier age than is customary.
You know,” she said very seriously, “after all, an adult takes on too much
responsibility when deciding to place a child in a group of older children.
Of course,” I answered, “but the responsibility will be no less if I
I decide not to do this.
Well, no,” she said, suddenly becoming very strict, “after all, this is generally accepted!”
And yet, despite these first conclusions, when I became pregnant towards the end of 1981, I had absolutely no idea what raising my children would entail. It was a long road to what could be called “early comprehensive learning”: I read a lot and, in addition, met an extraordinary person - Glen Doman, founder of Better Baby
Institute3, which I will talk about later. It was a thorny path where I experienced moments of indescribable joy and severe defeats. My passion for this exciting subject led me to do a lot of work, the results of which I think many parents would want to benefit from.
Having initially accepted the methodology developed by BBI, I subsequently moved far away from it, however, retaining the basic principles that I consider the only correct ones. They certainly go back to ancient times, for there have always been parents who understood that behind the disarming and touching awkwardness of the smallest children lies an intellect with all its power and greedy curiosity. These principles are very simple: the best teachers for a child are his parents; learning is a game that should be stopped before the child gets tired; no need to check your child; curiosity is supported by speed and novelty.
Based on these four principles, I gradually developed a system of exercises taking into account the realities family life. I used techniques collected from various books, as well as my theater training, which was very helpful for carrying out the games I came up with.
My book is a story about the life of one family who carried out an experiment in early learning; In addition, it is a guide with exercises based on French culture (taking into account the conditions of modern life). After all, it’s no secret that the views of parents in pedagogical literature are never taken into account. Almost always, books about raising children contain more or less simplified reports of scientific research. The appeal to parents in this kind of publications is usually carried out in the form of theoretical and generalized reasoning.
I was lucky enough to meet a woman who raised six children, with whom she cared a lot. She was kind enough to give me a diary that she kept for several years. Without being too explicit, this diary captured the essence of stimulating parenting. The awakening of consciousness in the baby, his funny words, the development of various character traits, and funny episodes are captured here. However, from my point of view, he lacked his mother's personality. No exercises were given, no mention was made of difficulties and search.
That's when I decided to write a book. It's been a long time, more precisely, since I met
Françoise Dolto, this idea was in the air. She immediately declared that I should tell about everything: write about a mother who does not experience “Stakhanov colic”, does not dream of creating geniuses, but strives the best way satisfy your curiosity
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Another mother from Le Fayette writes: "Bravo! You were able to organize a radio program and spark a discussion on a topic that until recently was too closed. If you are going to go further, I will follow you. There is still so much to do in raising children and ... parents."
One father from Chatou wrote: “Your ideas and methods make me think a lot...
Thank you... That's why I would like to know more about this... listen to you, read your articles."
Letter from mother from Paris: “I would really like you to tell me more about your personal experience, particularly about the time when your daughters were younger."
All these letters, as well as many others that I cannot cite here due to lack of space, were summarized in a letter that deeply touched me, which I received from Mo: “I warmly thank you for the transmission that moved me and for your sincerity, with which you share your experience with. I really liked your wise love for your daughters. I think that this love, which exists in addition to the instinctive one inherent in every mother, can be learned!” How can you refuse such a request? But I have neither pedagogical nor psychological education.
I cannot and do not want to pretend to form ideas. I do not represent any school, leaving the worries of in-depth research to professionals. My book is not a scientific work, but a story about life.
Many of us harbor within us enormous energy, creative powers and a reserve of patience that can move mountains if trouble happens to one of our children. Why not try to use these treasures for our “normal” children?