Screaming, spitting saliva. Four techniques, or the spitting phenomenon You invite the child to experience shame, guilt and humiliation in an extreme situation for him - instead of support, consolation and help

What and with what. 1. what (sprinkle something). Splash laundry. 2. with what (throw drops of liquid, sparks; spray with something). Sputter. The sun set behind the forest and splashed broken rays through the greenery (L. Tolstoy). Dunyashka, on her knees,... ... Control Dictionary

SPLASH- SPLASH, splash, splash (zhuzh, zzhe), and splash, splash, not very good. (to splash). 1. (present time splashing). Scatter drops. The fountain splashes. He sputters. || Spray. Dirt splashes from under the hooves. Sparks splash from under the hammer. 2.… … Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

splash- I'm buzzing, buzzing and buzzing, buzzing; splashing and splashing; splashing and splashing; nsv. 1. (than). Scatter, cause drops of liquid, small particles of something to fly in different directions. etc. The fountain splashes. B. on the floor. B. saliva (also: decompressed; strongly... Encyclopedic Dictionary

splash- zhuzh, zzhush and; I'm saying, I'm saying; bree/zizzy and bree/zzhayuschiy; br/zha and br/zgaya; nsv. see also splash, splash 1) a) with what To scatter, cause drops of liquid, small particles of something to fly in different directions. etc. The fountain splashes... Dictionary of many expressions

spit- I spit, I spit; nsv. Razg. 1. Using pressure, force, throw out, remove saliva and phlegm from the mouth. Often p. P. with saliva. P. blood. Stop p. Habit p. Don’t p. // Splash saliva during a conversation. He spoke and spat carelessly. Stay away from him... ... Encyclopedic Dictionary

spit- I spit, you spit; nsv.; decomposition see also spitting 1) a) By pressure, force, throw out, remove saliva, phlegm from the mouth. Often spitting. Spitting with saliva. Spitting blood... Dictionary of many expressions

slina- saliva, Ukrainian slina, blr. Slinya, Serbian cslav. slina σίαλον, Bulgarian Slina, Serbohorv. slina, slovenian. slina, Czech., Slvts. slina, Polish slina, V. Luzh., n. puddle slina, lab. sleina. Praslav. *slinа is related to ltsh. sliẽnas drool, thick mucus,... ...

snot- I snot I pant leg, Kolymsk. (Bogoraz), Sib., Tamb. (Dahl). Original tube and connected to the nozzle (see). II snot II mucus from the nose, Ukrainian. Sopil, b. spit snot; icicle, blr. Sopel, other Russian, Serbian cslav. snot - the same, Bulgarian. nozzle snot,... ... Etymological Dictionary of the Russian Language by Max Vasmer

spit- I spit, I spit; nesov. decomposition 1. The same as spitting (in 1 value). [People] chewed tobacco and spat terribly, trying to hit the stones. Korolenko, Without a tongue. Prokhor, thrown to the ground, wheezed from humiliation. He didn't say anything, he just hummed... ... Small academic dictionary

SALIVA- SALIVA, saliva, plural. no (cf. drool), female A viscous, slightly cloudy, viscous liquid secreted in the oral cavity of humans and animals by special glands, which moistens food and thereby facilitates its digestion. Salivation. Swallow saliva. Abundant... ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

Bryzgalov- BRYZGUNOV The word splashed was noted in the Vladimir province. Its meaning: a person who, without thoroughly listening to what is said to him, is ready to argue and quarrel; obviously from splashing saliva. (F). (

But then the Chief Boss came, and everything changed. He spat there, spat here, and the sky parted before Him, and from the spitting the stars, the Sun, the Moon and the Earth were born. The sky gave birth to Wind, the Sun gave birth to Fire, and Fire was ready to incinerate everyone and everything, but Godfather spat again, and Water appeared.

This is how four elements arose and complemented the overall picture of the World. A boy subsequently emerged from them, taking a drop from each.

He borrowed a warm heart from Fire, and from then on Fire became his essence. He adopted the memory of his ancestors from the Earth, learned to respect authorities, mother and father kind words remember, and the boy stood up for the District, and the boy became clear. The wind gave the boy a strong connection with Nishtyak, the god of relaxation, and the boy became even. Water rewarded the boy with the ability to heal and heal - to pour a competent market, in short - and the boy stood up for a divorce, and Luck was lucky for him.

And then the Chief Bokhan appeared again: he came to leave forever. But, before disappearing behind the scenes of eternity, He left the boy for edification his Mastery - Four spitting techniques or the Art of spitting in four different ways.

Spitting helps you focus and get to the heart of things.

Method One: Fire Technique

The most famous method of spitting is “through the teeth.”

Articulation: The anterior upper edge of the surface of the tongue is firmly pressed against the upper front teeth. Saliva accumulates in the hollow formed by the bend of the middle part of the tongue. At the moment of spitting, the tip of the tongue slides down, slightly moving outward, and a stream is sprayed out from the gap between the front teeth.

The spitting is accompanied by a characteristic sound “TZYRK”, for which this method is sometimes simply called “Tsvirk”.

The fluttering spitters are always fast and short-ranged.

This technique symbolizes expression, aggression, treachery, because it is born from the best Zhigan (that is, fiery) qualities of a boy.

Method two: Earth Technique

A common dynamic method of spitting through tightly pursed lips, it is performed in most sitting poses, especially in the Courts and Bench poses.

Articulation: Lips tightly compressed. Saliva accumulates on the tip of the tongue, pressed against the roof of the mouth. At the moment of performance, the tip comes off the palate, the lower lip slides slightly forward and down, the cheeks, like blacksmith’s bellows, sharply compress, and a portion of saliva, usually quite copious, falls to the ground.

This technique symbolizes loyalty to tradition and closeness to Mother Earth.

Third method: Water Technique

This method largely repeats the previous one, but is characterized by an incomparably large amount of saliva released. The spitting is done slowly, lazily, often through the use of mind-altering substances. The boy bends over and looks for a long time at the heavy and viscous drop of saliva coming out of his mouth, thoughtfully admiring how beautifully it stretches and finally reaches the ground.

The highest art is to hit a puddle left by another spit or a seed coat with such spit.

Articulation: Similar to the previous method, but less dynamic; movements of the tongue and cheeks are smoother.

This technique symbolizes complete relaxation, but at the same time composure, concentration and perseverance.

Fourth method: Wind Technique

This is a long-range and fast-firing grub. The flight range can reach several meters and is determined, first of all, by the severity of the “charge”: mucous deposits from the nasopharynx are used for spitting.

Articulation: Nasopharyngeal deposits collect on the front of the tongue. The tip of the tongue is pressed tightly to inside lips, closing the hole between them. At the moment of spitting, the lips curl into a tube, the tongue moves back, releasing a stream of compressed air, and the rocket flies right at the target.

This technique symbolizes a warlike attitude, cheerful enthusiasm, and Zhigan passion.

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Salivation

Salivation (salivation) is a reflex act of secreting digestive juice from the salivary glands for the primary processing of portions of food in the oral cavity. Without saliva, chewing food and swallowing is impossible. In addition, wetting the mouth with saliva makes speech easier.

How is saliva produced?

Saliva is produced by three pairs of large glands (submandibular, sublingual and parotid) and many small, smaller than sifted grains, located in the mucous membrane of the lips and cheeks.

A newborn baby has underdeveloped salivary glands - there is no great need for them, because the child consumes liquid nutrition. By the time the first teeth appear and the transition to solid food The baby's salivary glands have completely completed their formation, and by six months the baby begins to drool profusely from the mouth. This is a physiological process; the child simply does not immediately learn to swallow saliva.

The normal level of salivation in adults is considered to be the synthesis of 1-1.5 liters of saliva per day - 1 ml every 5 minutes. With advancing age, saliva production decreases.

If a person’s salivation worsens before this period, then they speak of hyposalivation, which disrupts the processes of eating, speaking and sleeping.

In some conditions of the body, on the contrary, strong salivation is observed, which is called hypersalivation, sialorrhea or ptyalism.

Types of hypersalivation

Physiological hypersalivation occurs when consuming sour or spicy foods - this is how the body tries to protect the internal linings of the digestive tract from the irritating effects of chemical agents by diluting them to a large extent. When a hungry person sees food, they reflexively produce an increased volume of saliva.

Pathological hypersalivation is observed due to abnormal processes that develop when the digestive organs, ENT organs or nervous system.

With increased salivation, people complain:

The mouth becomes full of liquid saliva, which you have to constantly swallow or spit.
When talking, saliva sprays out of the mouth, creating awkward situations.
During sound sleep, saliva flows from a slightly open mouth onto the pillow (salivation at night during sleep occurs when nasal breathing is impaired due to polyps or rhinitis).
Even when you feel full after a meal, saliva continues to be released abundantly.
Along with ptyalism, taste perversions or a decrease in taste sensations may appear.
Hypersalivation may be accompanied by nausea, belching and vomiting.
A paroxysmal course is characteristic of psychogenic hypersalivation (without organic damage to the nervous system); it is rare.

All these unpleasant symptoms arise due to various factors.

The main reasons for excessive salivation are:

hyperproduction of saliva by the glands - true hypersalivation;
violation of the swallowing reflex - false hypersalivation;
damage to the anatomical shape of the lips, cheeks or disruption of the functioning of the facial muscles as a result of injuries or scar processes due to tuberculosis, actinomycosis, leprosy - this situation also refers to false hypersalivation.

Pathologies that increase saliva production:

Violation of the architectonics (correlation of organs) in the oral cavity with complete or partial loss of teeth - sensitive receptors react to the constant contact of the tongue, palate and receding cheeks, perceiving them as a foreign body in the mouth, requiring an influx of saliva.
Inflammation in the oral cavity (stomatitis, gingivitis).
Damage to the vagus nerve.
Hormonal changes during puberty, as well as during pregnancy and menopause.
Disorders of the endocrine system (for example, diabetes mellitus).
Hypertrophic gastritis and gastric ulcer.
Pancreatitis and cholecystitis.
Impaired patency of the digestive tract due to spasms, tumors, esophagitis (inflammation of the mucous membrane of the esophagus), diverticulum of the esophagus (deformation of its wall).
Helminthic infestation - it is characterized by increased salivation after eating, nausea combined with fatigue.
Irritation of the salivary glands by nicotine and tar when smoking.

Some medicines have side effect in the form of an effect on the activity of the salivary glands. Xerostomia (dry mouth) or, conversely, sialorrhea occurs. The latter is caused, for example, by taking medications containing lithium.

Temporary increased salivation in adults and children is observed with kinetosis - seasickness, weakness of the vestibular apparatus, causing motion sickness when driving.

Pathologies that make swallowing difficult:

Injuries to the tongue or cheek (from a burn, biting).
Sore throat and pharyngitis (accompanied by general intoxication with increased temperature).
Damage to the cranial nerves (glossopharyngeal, hypoglossal nerves) - such a serious condition is called bulbar syndrome.
Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS).
Cerebral palsy (CP).
Some mental disorders.
Stress.

Taking the anticonvulsant nitrazepam for epilepsy provokes difficulty swallowing movements.

Swallowing disorders can also be a consequence of a stroke.

Which doctor should you contact?

If there is a constant excess of saliva in the mouth, you should consult a dentist. With the elimination of problems in the oral cavity (treatment of teeth and gums, rational prosthetics), salivation can be stopped in a significant proportion of patients.

If the doctor discovers that excessive salivation is a symptom of damage to other organs and systems, he will refer the patient to the appropriate specialist.

Diagnostics

It is very important to carefully collect anamnesis - the history of the occurrence of pathology. This is the only way, for example, that medicinal hypersalivation is established.

An X-ray and functional examination of the large glands is carried out. Sometimes they resort to a biopsy of the salivary glands.

The very fact of hypersalivation is easily established based on the patient’s complaints and visually, but effective treatment is possible only after finding out its root cause.

When examining a patient, the doctor takes into account that ptyalism is often one of the first signs of many serious common diseases, facilitating their diagnosis.

Diseases that hypersalivation may indicate

Let's consider the pathologies that hypersalivation may indicate:

If a baby who has not reached six months of age salivates profusely, this may be a signal that the child has:

there is inflammation in the throat;
stomatitis develops, caused by irritation with new food or poor-quality dyes on toys;
thrush appeared - a fungal infection called candidomycosis.

In addition, drooling in children may indicate the following diseases:

Aged over a year old sialorrhea occurs in children with cerebral palsy and mental retardation; it is associated with difficulty swallowing.
Nursery children often suffer from viral stomatitis with copious secretion of thick saliva.
In cases of ptyalism, it is appropriate to examine a child who does not yet have stable hygienic skills at that age for the presence of worms.
IN adolescence Excessive salivation in a child is caused by the onset of hormonal changes.

Gynecological problems and hypersalivation

Increased salivation along with a change in taste preferences occurs early sign onset of pregnancy. Increased salivation during pregnancy disappears in women after childbirth.

Most gynecological diseases are associated with hormonal imbalance, one of the manifestations of which is drooling. It is also characteristic of such a dangerous pathology as hydatidiform mole, in which, instead of a dead fetus, its outer shell grows in the uterus.

Complications

Prolonged drooling is fraught with unpleasant consequences.

dehydration of the body;
psychological discomfort;
sleep gets worse.

the occurrence of angular cheilitis (sticking, weeping in the corners of the mouth);
maceration (softening and peeling) of the skin around the mouth;
the addition of fungal and purulent microflora with the formation of typical elements on the lips and in the corners of the mouth.

Since hypersalivation is usually a symptom of another disease, it is necessary to treat the cause first. A specialist will help you decide how to get rid of the problem:

Drug hypersalivation is eliminated by discontinuing (replacing) the drug or reducing its dose.
If diseases of the brain and nervous system are suspected, treatment is carried out by a neurologist.
Psychogenic hypersalivation is treated by a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.
If you have problems with gastrointestinal tract– gastroenterologist.
An endocrinologist solves hormonal problems.
Treatment of the female sphere is carried out by a gynecologist.
If you suspect a helminthic infestation, contact a helminthologist.
The diet is adjusted to exclude foods that provoke salivation.
All health issues that arise for both infants and high school students are initially resolved by the pediatrician.
If a preschool child does not have neurological problems, then they can solve the problem with drooling speech therapy sessions with articulation and facial exercises.

Specific therapy

To alleviate the patient’s condition, sometimes, according to strict indications, specific treatment is performed that reduces the production of saliva by the glands:

Facial massage is used for neurological disorders.
Therapeutic exercises – exercises for masticatory and facial muscles.
Anticholinergic drugs (Scopolamine, Platiphylline, Riabal), which suppress saliva synthesis. Their side effects are increased heart rate, blurred vision, and xerostomia (a feeling of dry mouth).
Selective removal of the salivary glands (such an operation is dangerous on the parotid glands - damage to the branches of the facial nerves is possible).
Radiation therapy to scar part of the salivary gland ducts.
Botulinum toxin injections to suppress glandular tissue - the positive effect lasts 6-8 months.
Cryotherapy (injection freezing).

The prognosis for treatment is favorable provided correct definition causes of the disease.

Prevention

Preventing the development of hypersalivation is:

Commitment to healthy image life without smoking and drinking alcohol.
Timely treatment of any common diseases.
Regularly visiting doctors to monitor your health.
Compliance with hygiene rules to avoid helminthic infections.
Compliance hygiene care behind the oral cavity.
Timely prosthetics for tooth loss. Read more about prosthetic methods→
Good nutrition.

When sialorrhea appears, there is no need to self-medicate by taking medications uncontrollably. Only a doctor, after an examination, can decide how to reduce salivation and prescribe effective treatment that relieves unpleasant symptoms.

Causes of increased salivation

It is no secret that some people suffer from increased salivation, which in medicine is called hypersalvation, that is, increased secretion of the salivary gland.

This manifestation in adults is a disease.

Causes of the phenomenon

Hypersalvation is considered a common manifestation only in children under six months; after this period, increased salivation is considered a disease that results in inflammation of the oral cavity.

Most often, increased secretion of saliva is caused by epidemic encephalitis, cerebral palsy, Parkinson's disease, stomatitis, stomach ulcers, and amyotrophic sclerosis.

Also this phenomenon noticed during pregnancy and brain oncology.

Alternative causes include intestinal infection, lead or mercury vapor poisoning, liquid iodine poisoning, etc.

Yellow coating on the tongue, how to remove it and what are the reasons for its appearance on the tongue can be found out by reading one of our articles.

You can find out how to treat bumps in the corners of your mouth by studying this article. Very useful and valuable material, available to absolutely everyone!

Here, the cost is indicated, as well as instructions for using chlorhexidine.

Types of hypersalivation

Production of increased amounts of saliva divided into the following types, which are associated with the manifestation and symptoms:

Salivation due to pharmaceutical drugs A very large part of pharmacological agents, especially in the treatment of a runny nose or sore throat, leads to increased salivation. In this case, hypersalvation is a side effect of treatment and is very easily eliminated by lowering the dosage of the drug that caused it;
Hypersalvation as a result of stress This phenomenon is very rare and does not always go away after the stress stops; sometimes the period of the salivary glands returning to normal function lasts for a very long time. There are often cases when, due to an increase in saliva levels, the patient had to wear special reservoirs for collecting saliva indoors;
Increased salivation during belching.Gastrointestinal diseases such as ulcers or various shapes gastritis. The occurrence of sour belching, as one of the manifestations of the disease, can lead to the production of saliva and mucous acidic fluid in the oral cavity. When swallowing is impaired, this manifestation is also observed as an attempt by the body to cope and push a bolus of food down the esophagus. These reasons are a very serious fact that requires examination in a medical institution.
Increased salivation due to sore throat Lacunar tonsillitis is one of the most common causes. In this case, salivation occurs in conjunction with an increase in temperature, fever, malaise, and headache. The disease can also be complicated by vomiting. The lymph nodes become enlarged, and the tonsils are evenly covered with a gray coating, as well as a coating on the tongue, which becomes an indirect cause of salivation;
Increased salivation during communication.This reason is the most unfavorable, as it can affect a person’s communication skills. Impaired functioning of the oral muscles leads to this disease, as a rule, it is a symptom of cerebral palsy and other neurological lesions. Diabetes mellitus and endocrine disorders of the thyroid gland are another reason for increased drooling when talking;
Increased salivation in women.Rushes of blood and sweating that accompany menopause can be intensified by the manifestation of increased secretion of saliva from the glands. Doctors explain this by restructuring the body to hormonal background. This does not require treatment and goes away on its own over time, when all hormonal processes settle down;
Increased salivation in pregnant women.IN in this case the increase may be caused by impaired blood circulation in the thin films of the brain, which is disrupted during pregnancy. In this case, heartburn occurs. A decrease in the body’s immune capacity and vitamin deficiency also contribute to the development of hypersalvation in pregnant women;
Worms The vital activity of worms and their presence in the body also leads to profuse salivation. In this case, it is caused by the formation of a special toxin that circulates in the blood, absorbed through the colon;
Orthodontics.The presence of “crooked teeth”, tartar and inflammation of the gums in the oral cavity is a very rare, but obvious cause.

Diagnosis

Reasons increased salivation in pregnant women

Diagnosis consists of the following medical measures:

collecting anamnesis, that is, a fact about the sequential course of the disease, as well as the duration and presence of accompanying symptoms;
vital activity analysis, since the cause may be heredity or commitment to bad habits in the form of smoking and alcohol;
examination of the mouth and cavity to identify ulcers and other lesions of the mucous membrane and tongue;
accurate determination of the amount of saliva secreted and its enzymatic analysis;
examination by a dentist, neurologist and psychiatrist to identify indirect causes.

It is necessary to understand that treatment without identifying obvious causes is almost impossible.

Treatment of hypersalvation

Due to the fact that the most common cause of hypersalvation disease is the gastrointestinal tract, we recommend watching this video.

Treatment must begin by contacting a therapist, understanding that the fact of active salivation is a signal of abnormal functioning of the body.

The therapist, in turn, if necessary, will give a referral to a consultation with a more specialized specialist.

The most important point in treatment is determining the factor that predisposes a person to this disease.

Further treatment will depend on the specific cause: treatment against worms, correction of crooked teeth, or treatment of the gastrointestinal tract may be prescribed.

These manifestations are treated with completely traditional methods of therapy, but along with them, more specific techniques can be used, such as:

the use of drugs that can suppress the functioning of the glands that produce saliva, such drugs include: platifilin, riabal, scopalamine. But these drugs, very importantly, can also cause side effects in the form of tachycardia, blurred vision and increased dry mouth;
Surgical removal of the salivary glands can be performed selectively;
therapy using a laser beam, which scars salivary streams;
for neurological lesions, facial massage is performed;
in order to ensure normal salivation for a period of 4 months to a year, Botox injections are performed;
Cryotherapy is a long-term method that allows you to increase the frequency of swallowing saliva.

About how intimidated children learn to SUPPRESS their needs forever, and this means that when they grow up, they have a huge amount of aggression wandering inside them.

Domodedovo, early morning, departure hall, cafe on the second floor. At the next table there is a brutal handsome man with a boy of about five.

The boy whispers something barely audible, leaning towards the plate.

Dad's roar makes me shiver:

- Where to go to the toilet??! Where to go to the toilet?? I asked you 5 minutes ago - what did you say?? What did you tell me, I ask you? Piss in your pants now, let's go to the toilet for him!!

I look closely at my father. He screams so loudly that saliva splashes, he yells for a long time and obscenities, he turns red and clenches his fists. The boy turns crimson and bows his head even lower.

I say quietly:
- Children of this age cannot yet predict when they will want to go to the toilet.

My father looks at me fiercely, I look at him. A second later he says to the boy: “Let’s go!!” and takes his son, who has not raised his head, out of the cafe.

***
Tel Aviv, noon, embankment, crowds of people.

I'm walking relaxed, going to buy ice cream.

Suddenly I hear screams, a small crowd is gathering at the parapet enclosing the beach. I look down.

On the path near the locker rooms there is a creepy male scream, hysterical:

Get away from me! Get away from me, I s-said!! What did I tell you - don’t you understand?? You will get it from me now!! Come next!! Move away!!

A man in shorts and slippers is yelling, shaking and jumping, at a girl of about five years old.

In Russian.

The girl stands in front of him in fear, pulling her head into her shoulders.

I don't understand anything. People on the embankment too.

He moves forward, the girl minces next to him.

The scream, completely abnormal, hysterical, aggressive, continues.

“Move away, I said! Walk next to me! You don’t hear! Don’t you understand or what?? Are you going to get hit or something?!!”

The girl's face is not visible, her head is pulled into her shoulders. A woman comes up to him and touches him on the shoulder. He jumps back.

“Shout again and I’ll call the police,” she says.

“Fuck off!!” the man yells. “This is my child!!”

But the scream stops and they leave - it is sweeping and nervous, the girl is hastily nearby.

I am extremely ashamed that all this is happening in Russian.

A crowd of colorful foreigners whispers and glances at each other.

***
Domodedovo, night, arrival hall, passport control.

Queue.

The children are exhausted with anticipation.

A boy of about five years old jumps out of the queue and back into the queue, closer to his mother.

At some point, she forcefully pulls his arm so that he flies to the side and back.

-What did I tell you??? - the mother voices.

- Stay calm!! If you move again, I'll hand you over to the police! They'll take you away!! Now I will tell them that you are behaving badly!!

The boy looks around in fear at the border guard passing by and stands rooted to the spot for some time.

After 5 minutes, a scream is heard from the next line.

A fragile, beautiful, well-dressed blonde screams, continuously tugging at the hand of her son, very small, about 3-4 years old:

-Are you tired??? are you tired???? Do you want to go home?? Do you think I don’t want to?? Am I asking you?? Answer me - in your opinion, I don’t want to??? Aren't you ashamed?? Am I not tired?? Where can I take you home?? He is tired, but mom is not tired!!!

She screams, sputtering and shaking her son, each time she jerks, trying to turn him around to face her.

The boy pulls his head into his shoulders and tries not to meet her eyes.

***
You are reading manuals on female orgasms and howhow to catch and hold a man.

Read at least something about child psychology.

About how to be able to console a child, and not scare him into enuresis and stuttering.

About what psychological and emotional abuse is.

About how frightened children learn to suppress their needs forever, and this means that when they grow up, There is a huge amount of aggression wandering around inside.

About how these grown children cry at a psychologist’s appointment, remembering you, hating you, feeling my powerlessness in front of you, who have already grown old.

Read about age standards.

About the fact that small children do not know when they want to go to the toilet - asking them to “piss in their pants” in a public place, loudly, is something that will forever be hammered into their heads. feeling of shame and humiliation.

About the fact that a healthy five-year-old boy normally cannot stand still- he needs to spin and move. And the girl too.

About the fact that a 4-year-old doesn’t know what “long” is, what “half an hour” is, what “passport control” is, he can only feel that it was he who suddenly became guilty the fact that the mother is tired and that in this case he, the baby, is for some reason ashamed to be tired himself.

What a girl neither at five nor at 35 is capable simultaneously carry out the commands “move away” and “come next” shouted by the crazy father.

You invite your child to experience shame, guilt and humiliation in an extreme situation for him - instead of support, consolation and help.

You, adult sons of bitches, at this moment are adopted and adopted by your children - they see that the adults are not you, because the adult copes, but you can't cope.

And then your children try, from the age of three, to behave like an adult with you, so as not to anger, frighten or upset you, so fragile and lacking self-control.

You threaten your child, threaten him with beatings, the police, the orphanage - you are the one from whom he expects protection.

Parents are not the ones who protect. These are the ones who will punish and set you up when it’s already bad.

You yell when you feel powerless, tired, irritated and angry. At this moment your child feels paralyzing fear, shame, guilt and helplessness.

In addition, he will not be able to learn what it is like to support and help, to have pity, to console and reassure, to take care and be attentive.

He grows into the same parent and partner - not knowing how to help their child or loved one, but knows how to threaten, scare, scold, shame and blame.

I don’t know when the generations of crazy aggressive fathers and hysterical, noisy mothers who pull their children at every turn will end.

Believe me - even if all these real characters I described love their children somewhere inside, it will be very difficult for their grown children to believe it.

ADF. one of my readers writes:

Personally, John Gray's book "Children from Heaven" helped me a lot. And Julia Gippenreiter’s books “Communicate with a child. How?” and “We continue to communicate with the child. Right?” I would cut quotes into large pieces and distribute them to all future parents even before the start of pregnancy.

And the second reader recommends: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish “How to talk so that children will listen, and how to listen so that children will talk”, Karen Pryor “Bearers of the Wind” - about dolphins who taught trainers to teach them... published. If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to the experts and readers of our project