10+ tips for moms and dads on how to teach their baby to sleep separately

How to wean a child from sleeping with his parents? For young families, this issue is relevant even when the child is one, three, or five years old - it all depends on what was instilled from the cradle. It is clear that it is more comfortable for a young mother to rest with her baby in the same bed for up to six months - this makes it easier to feed both natural and breastfeeding. The child feels the usual maternal warmth, sleeps better, and the woman’s sleep lengthens. However, it is the dad who has to suffer in this situation, who was not prepared for this.

We are figuring out whether it is possible to let the child into the parent’s bed and when to send him to his room. And, of course, how to do it.

What are the good and bad things about co-sleeping?

First of all, it is beneficial, as I already said, for the mother - the woman has an increased chance of regaining her strength. Plus, close contact with the baby increases lactation, makes the feeding process easier, and the baby grows stress-resistant and less susceptible to phobias and fears. Until at least 12 months, the mother has to get up five times a night - to feed, to respond to restless sleep or crying. Feeling the warm breath nearby, the child sleeps more soundly. But the habit of constantly being in the parent’s bed, alas, can turn against the interests of the family.

Then mothers and fathers begin to think about how to wean their child from sleeping with them. For most parents, this happens when the baby reaches 1 year of age. This age is considered suitable not only for starting separate sleep, but also for moving to a separate room.

It is more convenient for a nursing mother to sleep with her baby up to six months

While psychologists and pediatricians are arguing whether it is worthwhile to practice co-sleeping at all, another common problem is that the baby comes to the parents’ room at two years old and older. And how, one wonders, can we wean a child from sleeping with his parents at the age of 6, if evenings turn into a nightmarish struggle with whims and attempts to put a hysterical bundle of nerves to sleep?

Most often, these attempts end in failure for the parents; the child goes to bed with them and still wakes up in the middle of the night to check if mom is nearby. The cause of this may well be hyperactivity.

How such a dream can turn out for a growing organism:

In the future, the habit risks developing into chronic insomnia and causing psychological problems, incl. excessive attachment to mother. Both boys and girls suffer from it equally.
The person will grow up to be dependent. A child’s own room, bed, table, books - everything that is commonly called “personal space” is vitally important for a child. This is how character is laid and formed.
Parents will have to forget about full-fledged intimate relationships and sound sleep, and this spoils the atmosphere in the family. I will also mention that after giving birth, women become absorbed in the problems of their children, forgetting about attention to their spouse.

It is recommended to gradually teach your child to sleep on his own.

So, we have already found out that it is necessary to wean a child from co-sleeping. All that remains is to find out how to do this, what to do at each age - from one to six years, the character of a child can change literally every day.

7 steps to stop your child from sleeping with his parents at 1, 2 and 3 years old

Be prepared that the process will take a long time - you can't just say: “Today you sleep in your room” and close the door. Although many psychologists consider the most effective way to ignore hysterics, the most effective method is still the gradual method: there is a greater chance of preserving the nervous system of you and the child.

Soft toys will help compensate for parental warmth

What to do:

Take care of separate sleep from the birth of your baby - even if he falls asleep exclusively in your bed, then transfer him to yours. During the day, the child should rest alone, so he will begin to understand where “his territory” is and where “parents’ territory” is.
At two years old, the baby already realizes his independence. This is when the time of persuasion comes - start to convince him that he is so old that he can spend the night in his room. This trick is one of the most effective.
Soft toys will help preserve the feeling of warmth and your presence in the nursery. If you have made the final decision to keep your child out of your bedroom, buy him a soft toy that he can hug while he sleeps.
Do not leave the room immediately after covering your child with a blanket. Sit, read a book, wait until you fall asleep, and the process will be less painful.
If the tantrums are so severe that none of the methods work, place the child's bed next to yours, move it away gradually, meter by meter, until you feel the right moment to move it to another room.
Get ready for your son or daughter to come running into your bedroom in the morning to say hello and warm up - this is normal.
Be determined and patient - if your child constantly comes at night and asks to “take him in,” take him back to his bed without swearing, reproaches or accusations. Lie down next to me and calm me down.

Your child will definitely come running into your bedroom in the morning.

If you follow these simple recommendations, results will come quite quickly, but if all your efforts are in vain, you should seek help from a specialist. Perhaps the main problem lies not only in your relationship with your child, but also in the family as a whole.

Advice: It is especially important to instill the habit of sleeping separately in children of the same age. It will be more difficult for two people to fit in a parent’s bed, and sleeping alone will not only cause waves of jealousy, but may result in the spoiled character of both children.

How to wean a child from sleeping with his parents at 4 years old?

This case, of course, should be classified as neglected and start with finding out the reasons. Among them may be:

The usual children's “I want” and other manipulations - then you will have to act decisively to make it clear who runs the show in the family.
Fears - the dark, monsters under the bed, monsters in the closet, spiders. You must explain that there is no one to be afraid of, open the doors, look under the bed, showing that the baby is completely safe. In the beginning, you can leave the door of the room open so that the feelings of fear are minimal. But remember: the child should not witness your intimate relationship with your spouse.
Elementary fatigue - excessive watching of TV before bed, for example. Keep this time to a minimum, read books to your child and play educational games. Replace cartoons with a relaxing walk in the park during the warmer months.

Evening entertainment should be calm

Alas, a similar situation can continue until the age of five or six, although during this period children literally dream of their own room. A reasonable, persistent approach and a few parenting tricks will come to your aid.

7 ways to wean your child from sleeping with his parents at 4, 5 and 6 years old

Choose the right moment

Don’t turn moving to a separate room/bed into stress, be crafty in a good way: time it to coincide with an important event, the arrival of grandparents, the child’s birthday, an important purchase. For example, you finished renovating the nursery or bought a new bed/bedding with your favorite characters.

Parents also have the right to proper rest

Use authorities

Those same grandparents or people whose opinion the baby especially values should serve you well. Then in response to the question: “Are you already so old that you probably sleep in your own bed?” he simply cannot answer “no.”

Be persistent and consistent

Make going to bed a ritual

Splashing in the tub, drinking hot cocoa and cookies, reading your favorite book, or telling funny stories. Make sure your child waits for sleep to come.

Encourage success

Having slept separately a couple of times, the baby may feel that what is happening is contrary to his interests, and will again fall into whims. Stimulate success with small joys: ask what toy your child wants to take to bed, what fairy tale to read to him, who will read it, mom or dad.

Show pride

Has your child been sleeping in his room for a week? Take him to the cinema or the zoo as a reward, do not forget to praise him even for small achievements - in the future, these steps will help develop a balanced, calm character.

Advice: if your budget allows, buy a baby monitor. It is not only a fashionable toy, but also a way of communication. At any moment, while in his room, the baby will be able to ask for help or tell him what is bothering him. Children get used to changes more easily through play.

Sharing sleep with parents is appropriate for up to six months

Determination

If they said “no”, it means “no”, there can be no concessions. By following the whims of children, you become controlled and nullify even the slightest achievements.

Explain, look for compromises

It is completely useless to shout at children and try to prove to them your, adult, point of view. A child lives in his own world, and therefore understands only what happens at the level of his growth. It is not an option to simply say: “You are punished.” You need to explain as clearly as possible why you can’t, for example, relax with your dad.

A family sleeping together looks cute, but it’s better to practice such sleep during joint photo shoots

Finally, reduce activity before bed to a minimum. Contrary to the popular belief, “if you’ve had enough time, you’ve fallen soundly asleep,” excessive activity and overwork result in overexcitation of the nervous system. The child becomes capricious, whiny, does not want to undress or take a bath on his own, so evening games should be calm and relaxing.

Remember: for a child to feel your love, there is no need to put him in your bed, surround him with excessive care, sterilize toys before the school desk - give him a chance to grow as an independent active person with a strong immune system and nervous system.