If a child is bullied at school: advice from a psychologist

How can you tell if your child is having problems at school? Often, parents are so busy with work and everyday activities that they do not immediately notice changes in the child’s behavior. Just yesterday he was cheerful and cheerful - he suddenly becomes thoughtful, depressed, does not always hear speech addressed to him, and seeks solitude. There may also be physiological disturbances. The child loses appetite, sleep, and begins to have nightmares. If mom or dad notice any of these changes, it is better to talk to the child immediately.

It’s good if the microclimate in the family is conducive to intimate conversations and the relationship between the child and parents is trusting. But even if this is not the case, the duty of parents is to preserve the spiritual peace of their offspring, to help him cope with problems that seem insoluble to the young man. If a child is bullied at school: advice from a psychologist will help resolve this delicate problem.

So the conversation took place, during the course of which the parents learned that the child was being subjected to ridicule, bullying, and even beatings. And all this happens within the walls of my own school. Don’t rush to make decisions, calm down yourself and reassure your child. Let him know that you are nearby and on his side, that you will definitely find a way out of any difficult situation with him.

Try to look at everything that is happening impartially, from the outside. It is possible that your offspring himself is partly to blame for the current situation, and you need to explain to him what exactly he made a mistake. Perhaps he was rude, arrogant, he himself offended someone weak, which provoked a conflict with his classmates.

The reason, of course, is not always the behavior of the child himself. It's no secret that children are cruel. They do not forgive physical defects, ugliness, etc. They can give offensive nicknames and literally bully those who stand out from the crowd in some way. There are over-aged idiots who extort money from younger schoolchildren. In general, cases may be different.

A visit to teachers will help clarify the situation. It is better not to communicate directly with children who have become participants in a conflict with your child.

1. First of all, it's not ethical. Adults are older, smarter, stronger and in no way on an equal footing with a schoolchild.
2. Secondly, it can lead to conflict with the parents of that child (or children).
3. Thirdly, once a conflict has occurred within the walls of the school, taking measures to resolve it is the direct responsibility of the teaching staff. The teacher in this case will play the role of an arbitrator.

The teacher, with his experience and knowledge of the parties to the conflict, will always find a way to a successful outcome of the situation. Perhaps it will be possible to reconcile the children simply by organizing a joint “debriefing” in the presence of the students’ parents, the children themselves and the school teacher. This applies to small conflict situations. In cases of bullying, bullying and beatings, the help of a psychologist and the school principal is already needed.

The conversation was held, passions subsided. What's next?

It is better to talk again with the child at home, expressing your support and participation to him, emphasizing that you love him and will always be on his side. It never hurts to remind your children of this.

To increase your child’s self-esteem, you can send him to a sports section or theater studio. Or somewhere else, according to his talents and inclinations. This will give the little man a fair reason to believe that he has something to appreciate and respect for everyone around him.

If the reason for ridicule is problems with academic performance, you can improve school success by inviting a tutor for your child in the necessary subjects. Which, again, will make the child more confident and give him a reason to be proud of himself.

Your offspring's circle of friends is of great importance. Pay attention to this. Allow your child to invite home those children who easily and kindly communicate with him and share his interests. By gaining positive experience communicating with peers, the child will learn to be calm with his ill-wishers, respond to their attacks and ridicule with a joke, and reduce tension in communication. As soon as ill-wishers notice that their barbs do not achieve their goal, interest in the victim will be lost.

In any case, stay in touch with your children. This will definitely minimize their problems, and the remaining ones will no longer seem too significant and insoluble.