How to improve relations with a husband on the verge of divorce after cheating?
How to improve your relationship with your husband on the verge of divorce - question that often comes up in forums in the Internet. And although everyone understands that it is much more effective not to lead to serious conflicts, the problem is as relevant today as it was decades ago, because- a long road full of surprises. And they are not always pleasant. Some courageously overcome obstacles, becoming even closer, while others- gives up and tries to escape from problems. It is important to understand that you can always restore if you wish. This article will tell you how to improve your relationship with your husband if you are already on the verge of divorce.
What is the cause of discord in relationships?
Family life can be complicated due to disputes or quarrels, the unwillingness of spouses to compromise or misunderstanding of the motives of each other’s actions, attempts to prove that they are right at all costs or to assert themselves at the expense of their partner. All of these actions are destructive to marriage and relationships in general.
Here are the most common causes of family discord:
- “Rose-colored glasses,” idealizing a partner at first invariably leads to disappointment
- Inattention to your spouse's needs and feelings
- Constant struggle of characters, attempts by one of the spouses to constantly dominate
- Different views on life and inability to make concessions
- Loss of trust, jealousy, betrayal
- Inability or unwillingness to admit guilt, forgive and move on
- Emotional problems of one or both spouses caused by work stress, illness, or other problems
If there is a threat of divorce in your family, do not try to present your demands in an ultimatum form. Don't demand that your partner stay. Try to persuade him to postpone the breakup until you understand the situation.
How to improve relationships with a husband on the verge of divorce - advice from a psychologist
After the first impulse to separate and forget each other is eliminated, proceed to a step-by-step plan.
Deal with conflicts first. Surely your life began to deteriorate not yesterday, and it is foolish to believe that you can fix everything in a couple of days. But we need to start small. Each partner should have the opportunity to speak out and be heard. Talk through your problems, tell your partner what doesn’t suit you in the relationship and what you would like.
Deal with yours, understand why you need marriage and why it is important for you to maintain the relationship. It may take time to understand this. Be prepared to think through different options for your future and give your spouse time to think about it.
Remember that you can only change yourself. Therefore, each partner will take care of himself. This is not so simple and you may need the help of a family psychologist.
Add bright colors and positivity to your life. Brighten up your everyday life with something that will please both you and your partner. Take time for each other, relax together, go on a date or buy each other nice surprise gifts.
How to improve relations with a husband on the verge of divorce after cheating?
Cheating on one of the spouses (or both)- a problem that not every family can overcome. And the first thing you need to do if you want to solve the situation once and for all- understand the motives and reasons for the behavior of the cheater.
You should not try to pretend that nothing happened, because the absence of a negative assessment can push the traitor to a new series of adulteries.
Very often, the reason for an affair is the lack of sex life in the family. For example, a wife feels insecure, doubts her own and therefore stops any attempts at intimacy.
Or the husband is worried about problems at work, feels depressed, wounded, and therefore does not pay attention to his wife, withdrawing into himself.
Perhaps your marriage is going through a period of crisis, when it seems to you that the relationship has reached a dead end and has outlived its usefulness. Such moments happen in all families, and in order to be happy, you should learn to go through difficult times together.
In any case, the root cause must be eliminated, otherwise the situation will repeat itself endlessly. Understand that both spouses must admit their responsibility for the current situation. It is impossible to solve the problem unilaterally- it will require the desire and activity of two.
How to improve relations with your husband on the verge of divorce after your husband cheated?
You learned about your husband’s infidelity, and, having overcome the first wave of despair, you still tried to figure out what caused the act.
Next, it is important to pay attention to the attitude of the man himself to what happened. If he asks for forgiveness, you see that he repents and promises not to repeat this mistake, there is a chance. If a man blames only you for everything, completely refusing to take responsibility for the mistake, it is better not to deceive yourself,- Most likely, he will not stop and will easily cheat on you again in the future.
However, do not rush to forgive immediately. Tell your spouse how much his action hurt you, that you consider cheating unacceptable and do not intend to forgive such situations in the future. If he also loses his second chance at trust, you have a choice. You can either break off the relationship or come to terms with the betrayal.
Having decided to forgive, do not reproach your husband for his misdeeds; let the past remain the past. Constant “nagging” and reminders do not contribute to strengthening relationships, because you want to improve, and not completely upset them? Letting go of the situation and forgetting about cheating is more important for a woman, because otherwise she won’t be able to live and feel happy next to a man.
How to improve relations with a husband on the verge of divorce after his wife cheated?
For most men, it is incredibly difficult to forgive their spouse’s infidelity. And here it is important to understand that most often the cause of adultery is a lack of attention, affection and warmth towards a woman.
Many men make the same mistake: they devote all their efforts to strengthening the well-being of the family, disappear for days at work, and in the meantime their wives feel forgotten and useless to anyone. In such a situation, the attention of a stranger may be perceived favorably. And sometimes a woman herself begins to look for entertainment in order to make sure of her attractiveness.
