How to wean a child from sleeping in his mother's arms?

A happy event has happened in your family - your beloved baby has been born. And if in the first month of his life a child sleeps only in his arms, and this does not bring any discomfort to the young mother, because motherhood is still new to her, her grandmothers or, say, her husband help her around the house, then the older the baby gets, the heavier it becomes wear. And how long can this last, because he must sleep in his crib! And if all the household chores fall entirely on the shoulders of the young housewife and no one helps her, then what to do? How to wean a child from this so that the mother has time to rest herself or do other things? What is the reason for the restless sleep of a baby in the first month of life? Why does he sleep in your arms, but as soon as you put him in the crib, he immediately wakes up? The answers to these questions have long been found; all that remains is to listen to the advice of pediatricians.

Why does a child want to sleep in his arms?

Eating and sleeping are the main activities of a newborn baby. Mom is the main component of his life. And if feeding the baby is not difficult, then his sleep becomes a real test for the psyche of a young mother. Day after day, month after month, the child spends most of his life in his mother’s arms, literally paralyzing her, not allowing her to sleep normally. Of course, there are reasons for this behavior of the baby.

1. The baby needs constant physical contact with his mother. Feeling her warmth when he is in her arms, the baby feels safe. According to psychologists, such a dream is even beneficial. Children who often enjoyed their mother's touch in infancy later grew up to be successful, confident, purposeful people. After all, from childhood they knew that they were needed in this world, that they were loved here. Experts advise not to deny your child such joy until the 6th month of life.
2. The world of a newborn is the mother. Over the course of 9 months, he got used to feeling like one with her. Starting from the first month of life, this feeling remains the same, but it is also mixed with fear and anxiety that the mother will go somewhere. When a baby closes his eyes, everything around him ceases to exist for him, including his mother. Therefore, the child is worried about the situation of falling asleep.
3. Colic, bloating, teething, diseases that have not yet manifested themselves externally, overexcitement, a negative family environment (even though the baby is still very small, he feels everything) - this can also be the reason that the child prefers to sleep only on hands. Of course, in this case, it is best to consult a doctor who will help you review the diet of mother and child, advise you to take any medications or change your daily routine.

But the underlying reason for all these reasons is the same - the baby does not feel safe even in his sleep, he is in an anxious state.

Or maybe I can endure it?

Many experienced parents and even some experts in the field of child psychology advise young mothers to endure it when the baby cries, not to rush to him at the first cry, and not to pick him up often in the first month of life. Allegedly, then the child will get used to it and begin to sleep on his own. Indeed, this will happen, but, according to many psychologists, there is nothing positive about it. Children whose cries were often ignored, left to sleep alone despite their screams, do not form an attachment to their mother, and their psyche becomes unstable.

If you decide to adhere to this point of view and wean your child from sleeping in your arms, keep track of time and teach the child gradually. Don't leave a screaming baby alone for long periods of time. A few minutes will be enough, after which it is better to pick him up and calm him down. Children's specialists from various fields warn that this technique is fraught with undesirable consequences. The child will grow up unsociable, with low self-esteem, and will not be able to communicate with other people, including his own parents. Ultimately, he may remain an unhappy person for the rest of his days.

The desire of parents to discipline today's baby will negatively affect the psycho-emotional state of tomorrow's adult.

What to do?

But what should a poor mommy do if she has no strength left? Weak after childbirth, she still has to manage the household. And it often happens that she has to explain to her husband who came home from work that she simply did not have enough time to take care of the house, since the baby was with her all the time in the literal sense of the word. How to wean a child from sleeping in your arms at least during the day?

Psychologists advise not to wean him off, but to fill his life with contacts with his mother using other methods.

• When the baby is awake, hold him in your arms more often. So that mommy does not experience heavy stress, you can do this with the help of a sling. You couldn't imagine a closer contact. The child feels safe, and at the same time the mother has her hands free and the load is evenly distributed.
• You can wean your child off by sleeping together with his mother. If you fall asleep next to your baby from birth, he will not be tormented by fears that his mother will leave. From the very first days he will understand that you are always there. The need to sleep in your arms will not even appear or will soon disappear on its own.
• Perhaps you don’t need to do anything special, just organize your sleeping area correctly. A newborn baby does not need a large bed; a cradle that is proportional to his body is sufficient. And a baby up to a month old simply needs to be swaddled. Some mothers think that this makes their child uncomfortable; he really doesn’t like it. In fact, sleeping in diapers is much more comfortable and calmer. The child cannot yet control his body movements and scares himself with his own arms and legs, which at the end of the first month of life he begins to actively raise and lower. The diapers remind the baby of the mother's womb. They squeeze it just as tightly. Being in a crib unswaddled, a newborn ceases to feel the edges around him, his sleep becomes restless, and he constantly needs his mother.
• During the day, you can put some of your mother’s things near the crib. After all, babies are very sensitive to smells. This trick will help you fall asleep.

It won't always be this way

What to do if your child is about six months old, but he still sleeps in his arms and no way can wean him from this habit? Be prepared to patiently explain to him that he needs to sleep in a crib. Talk to him more about this topic. Believe me, babies at this age are already capable of such communication. Take him in your arms, bring him to the crib and tell him how his toys sleep, dad, that everyone has their own crib, and the baby has one too, and now he will sleep in it, and mom will sit next to him. Sit near the bed, stroke the child’s hand. If hysterics begin, take the baby in your arms for a while. A drop wears away a stone, your patient explanations will help in the end.

Involve your dad or grandma in this method. Sing lullabies to your baby and read fairy tales to him. Everything needs to be done sequentially, gradually. Of course, this will require a lot of patience and you will eventually succeed in weaning your child from this habit.

The main thing is to remember: this is not forever. Children tend to outgrow this habit. Believe me, the time will come when you will remember with trepidation how your baby needed you and could not do without his mother for even a minute, and regret that this time has irrevocably passed.