Communication with girls - how to start

The ability to communicate with girls plays an important role in building relationships with them. The extent to which a guy knows how to establish contacts with the opposite sex and how interesting he is to him affects his future relationships. Here the qualities of character, behavior patterns, and topics that the guy touches on become important...

What is communication with girls?

Talking to girls is not an easy task for a guy. Modern young ladies are quite strict in their refusals and criteria for choosing interlocutors. Sometimes they don't even look at the guys who are talking to them, which already reduces the possibility of doing anything. Each girl has her own reasons why she refuses to communicate, and criteria for selecting a possible interlocutor.

Every guy who is faced with a refusal to communicate should know that the refusal did not arise because he is bad, but for other reasons that may not concern the guy at all. If you are rejected, this should not bother you. The girl has her own problems and worries, which are more important to her now than communicating with you. Find that young lady who is willing and wants to chat with you.

Here you need to be assertive, confident and sociable. Sociability is one of the necessary qualities of a modern person. To survive and achieve success nowadays, a person has to communicate with other people on any issues. Even a basic trip to the store requires communication skills if you want to get a quality product at a lower price than it is offered to you. Sociability is a necessary quality. If for some reason a person does not have developed sociability, then his whole life is filled with difficulties and unresolved issues that required only one thing - to agree on something with other people.

There can be many reasons for unsociability. The main one is the inept upbringing of a person when he was still small. Maybe, as a child, someone scared a person, or his parents scolded him for some words, or no one listened to what he said, because of which he formed a corresponding complex that makes him close himself off from communicating with other people .

The surest way to become sociable is to understand the reasons for closedness and correct your own shortcomings. Often such work requires the presence of a psychologist who will determine and help in the development of sociability.

However, if there is no opportunity and desire to work with a psychologist, then you can accustom yourself to another option for solving the problem: shift the focus of your attention from yourself to your interlocutor.

Typically unsociable people often think of themselves in terms of other people:

1. “What will they think of me if I say this?”
2. “What do I look like doing this?”
3. “Will others think this is stupid?”

Unsociable people are focused on their complexes. They replay their own fears in their heads, which could come true if they start saying something. However, if you shift the focus of your attention from yourself to your interlocutor, then various complexes and fears will recede on their own. Stop thinking about what other people will think of you and how they will look at you, rather ask yourself the question: “What is interesting about the person with whom I am currently communicating?”

Be interested in your interlocutor, set a goal to find interesting character traits and topics for conversation in him. You communicate, rather than being close to each other, so as not to show your own flaws. Play your role – communicate, be interested, share information. This is the essence of communication!

How to start communicating with girls?

If you are shy or unsure of yourself, then start communicating with the girl on an abstract topic. There is no need to say “Do you want to meet?”, it’s better to start by discussing a topic. For example:

1. What kind of music do you like?
2. Are you also interested in sports? Who are you rooting for?
3. What do you like to read?
4. Do you like pets? What breeds of dogs (cats) do you prefer?
5. How do you like to relax?

It’s better not to focus on the fact that you are offering to communicate with you. The girl will tense up because she will not know what this obliges her to. Therefore, start communicating with casual topics when the girl understands that now you are communicating, but next time you may never see each other again.

Chat in a fun and interesting way. Start by saying something about yourself. Do not force the girl to reveal all the information about herself, first tell her about herself so that she relaxes a little and tries to maintain the topic.

Further communication also needs to be interesting and relaxed. Try to feel the girl when she is interested in communicating, and what topics she is not interested in. Be the most beautiful and well-groomed, but if you cannot interest a girl in communicating with you, then you will not be able to keep her near you for a long time.

Have you ever heard someone say to you: “I’m not interested in communicating with you”? Or did you yourself say such words to another person? Sometimes there are people who really have nothing to talk about with each other. If a situation arises where both interlocutors sit and remain silent because they do not want to say anything, then these people cannot find a common language. They most likely do not see each other as companions with whom it would be interesting to communicate.

But quite often one interlocutor is interested in communicating with someone who is not interested in communicating with him. What happens in this case?

Most likely, someone who does not want to communicate with another person, for some reason, does not want to do this. This doesn't mean he's not interested. He just doesn’t want to talk about certain things to his interlocutor. Perhaps he could talk about other topics with his partner, but not about those that he keeps from him.

A person does not communicate not because he has nothing to talk about, but because he has no interest and desire to communicate. Topics do not appear not because they do not exist, but because people are not interested in talking about these topics with each other. In other words, it is not you who are uninterested in communicating with someone, but you yourself do not see any interest in communicating with a specific person. You yourself are not drawn to him to communicate, you yourself do not want to find common topics that would interest both. You can talk to absolutely anyone. But you are not attracted to every person, so you get the result of someone complaining about your unfriendliness.

It is not interest that plays a role in whether you communicate with a person or not, but your desire to communicate with him. If you don’t want to talk to someone about something, then you automatically lose interest and topics for conversation. But if you want to communicate with another person, then you will immediately have interesting and exciting topics for conversation.

Psychology of communication with girls

You need to be able to communicate with a girl. And psychology offers the following rules that will come in handy:

• If a girl is tired, then there is no need to be offended or angry with her. Always stay positive. You can cheer up the girl so that she can take her mind off her sad thoughts.
• Don't run after a woman, otherwise you will lose her interest in you.
• Always remain a man. Solve your problems yourself, be responsible, don't complain about other people.
• Try to surprise the girl more often with various gifts, phrases, etc.
• Chat with several girls at the same time to enrich your experience.
• Take an active part in communication. The girl should see that you are interested in communicating not only about your own topics, but also about hers.
• Listen and hear. The girl wants to be heard. You can learn a lot of interesting things about your interlocutor.
• Compliment your girl and make her feel special.
• Be interesting, in which reading books and diversified development will help.
• Have a purpose for communication. Why are you talking to a girl? You should always understand what you are leading the girl to.

What goal do you want to achieve in a conversation with this or that person? You may be yelled at, criticized, forced to argue, or flattered. But you shouldn't be interested in that! You listen to what they say to you in order to find out the intentions and desires of the interlocutor. But behave as you see fit - pursue achieving your goal.

Communicate regardless of how the other person communicates with you. You have a goal for a specific conversation - achieve it. And here it doesn’t matter how the interlocutor leads and what he says. Listen to the other person, but take the conversation in a direction where you achieve your goal.

The other person may shout at you. But you can be absolutely calm, because you are pursuing your goal. Be calm in order to reassure your interlocutor and set him in a mood that is beneficial to you.

People are controlled by the person who knows what exactly he wants to get from them. If you start a conversation without knowing what you want to get from the other person, you will react to the behavior of your interlocutor. If he criticizes you, you will begin to criticize him in return. If he starts yelling at you, you will start yelling in response. But you will choose a completely different tactic when you clearly understand your goal: “I want to come to an agreement with this person, I want to force him to accept my offer.” And in this case, you no longer pay attention to possible shouting or criticism addressed to you. You are already worried about what you say to your interlocutor, how you talk to him, what state he is in. You are no longer concerned about the scream itself, but about the ways in which you will calm your interlocutor and force him to negotiate with you.

What goal do you want to achieve in the conversation? Set yourself a task - what do you want to achieve from your interlocutor. And it no longer matters how he talks to you. It is important what you can do in order to still force your interlocutor to do what you expect from him.

If there is no goal that you are pursuing in a conversation, then you will begin to behave like your interlocutor. But when you have a goal, it no longer matters how the other person behaves. What matters is what you do to encourage the other person to behave in a way that benefits you.

When you communicate with a girl, talk about yourself, about her, about your childhood. All this will help you get to know each other better.

You can also meet girls on the Internet. The difficulty here is that you can't just smile and win a girl's heart. You need to choose words so that girls want to communicate with you. A banal “Hello.” Let's talk?" doesn't fit. Girls are spoiled, so you need to send the first messages more original and touching. Her page will help tell you what to write to a girl: photos, information about her, interests.

Don't delay your online communication. Already during the first week, you need to invite the girl to at least talk on the phone, or even better, to meet. The first 20 minutes of talking on the phone will allow you to understand whether you want to see this girl. However, don’t expect too much that you will like everything when you meet. Very often virtual dating ends at the first meeting because:

1. The girl did not post a photo of herself.
2. The girl no longer looks like her photo.
3. The girl is not interesting to talk to. Etc.

Bottom line

Every guy has numerous questions regarding how to communicate with girls. But here only experience will help, which you need to gain on your own through communication with different girls, in different environments and situations.