Why can't you forget your past relationship?

It's completely normal to keep memories of your past relationships. But dragging memories, and even suffering from a failed love story into real life - where they have no place at all - is harmful and tiring. So why is it so difficult for some of us to get rid of the burden of failed love and what to do about it?

You feel like you can never treat anyone like that again.

Sometimes past relationships seem to be somehow special - such love happens only once, it seems to you, and instead of enjoying life, you continue to remember and mourn your past passion. You yourself do not give yourself a chance to feel something similar, but for another person, passing a sentence on yourself - “never again.”

What to do? Understand that there was nothing unusual either in the object of your adoration or in the relationship itself, except for your own perception. Having analyzed the love story objectively, with a cool head, you can easily be convinced of this. And you can’t know anything about what will happen and what won’t happen, because life often throws people the most unexpected surprises.

It seems to you that you yourself were better in those relationships

It must seem to you that then you knew how to love “for real”, you could neglect everything for the sake of a big and bright feeling, and now you have become a cynical egoist. Memories take you back to a time when you were “better” and lived and filled with love. Now you think that you are not able to feel something like this anymore and this makes you feel like an inferior person, a so-called emotional corpse.

What to do? Accept that at every age people express their feelings differently. At the time when that “fatal love” happened, you were simply younger. Now, you have become wiser and look at the people and events around you more consciously. The acute longing you experience is not at all for lost love, but for the feeling of youth and recklessness. It seems to you that all the best that could happen to you has already happened then. But growing up is not the end of life, it is its beginning, as you will see soon after you manage to throw away that very suitcase without a handle - full of nostalgic memories.

Do you feel like you missed your chance to find true love?

Perhaps fate only once gave you a chance to reunite with your other half, but you didn’t take advantage of it - therefore, there is absolutely nothing more to wait for, all that remains is to revel in the memories.

What to do? Remember that people tend to remember the happiest moments, forgetting all the bad ones. Having repressed bad memories, you begin to perceive your former lover as an impeccable ideal - which, of course, is not true.

It seems to you that memories take you back to a fairy tale

You are tired of variety - family, work, routine, everyday affairs... The routine that has swallowed you makes you return to those very times when life was full of thrills. I want a fairy tale - a big and beautiful love that will live forever. And you have pots, reports, borscht... How can one not indulge in memories?

What to do? Realize that fantasies and dreams are completely normal. Just don’t hurt yourself by allowing these fantasies to take over your mind and burst into real life. It is important to understand that fantasies are just fantasies; it would be a mistake to associate them with a real person from the past.

Shock therapy

If “sick love” does not let you go for a long time, there is one quite effective way to stop living in illusion, face the truth, leaving fantasies in the past - to meet the object of your adoration. Most likely, the one you see will bear little resemblance to the subject of your dreams, and the romantic flair will dissipate on its own. After all, it very often happens that we ourselves endow men with the qualities of a superhero and fall in love with the invented image. Real, unimagined love to you!