Is cheating acceptable in a serious relationship? Premarital relationships - how to recognize deception How to deal with deception in a relationship

Sometimes a woman, listening to her mother’s advice, begins protect yourself in matters of joint real estate.

Good and profitable. Often a woman does this on the advice of her mother, saying, who knows how your relationship will turn out.

You feel that the relationship is built from the start LIES and FALSE. Many people think that we deceive with words, that if we don’t explain and tell our husband this, he won’t understand. He may not understand, only intuitively he will feel that you are playing against him and not on his field, and that you are preparing escape routes in advance.

Why are we so sensitive to percentages, to thousands, and allow our relationships to be treated so carelessly? After all, by doing this, we are planting a time bomb called “Divorce.” Don't start a relationship with such lies. And it’s better to consult with your husband, not with your mother. Now your main adviser is your husband; any man appreciates such devotion.

You need to be very careful about your parents' help. I repeat once again, it is no coincidence that after the wedding everything material passed to the husband, he owned it, he became the owner. The woman did not have any escape routes initially.

The next common type of lie in a relationship is when a woman runs to work, disappears there from morning to evening, and tells the man about self-realization, about the fact that he will go crazy if he is a housewife. (This applies to cases when your husband expresses dissatisfaction with your workload and suggests leaving your job). The man seems to take your word for it, but doesn’t believe you in principle. But a woman runs to work driven by fear. Control everything and everyone, do not let life out of sight, otherwise you will trust him, and he will leave, abandon, die, and where will I go? A woman keeps her escape routes; she does not trust a man. Childish fear drives her. I know what I’m writing about, so objections are not accepted. I will definitely write a separate article about this, so you don’t miss it, subscribe to the newsletter.

A woman who is unable to begin to trust her man will never open the door called "Femininity". Never. Opening a little and a little does not count. It’s like an egg, which is a little bit of an egg, but like a danger it immediately turns into a sperm. Think for yourself. Is this possible? Why do we do this experiment in life?

Very often deception begins where the woman begins to save her money.“Your” money is “ours”, and mine is mine. And my mother taught me that it is better to put them aside. Can I ask a question? If you've ever done this, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS MAN AROUND?

Money is a very strong and powerful energy. Life and survival are directly related to money. “Money is life. Without money, no one can survive in our society. Money allows us to live." Bert Hellinger. And the best test in a relationship is money. Do we hide them, hide them, conceal them.

A woman who saves money has a strong subconscious desire to protect herself; she does not trust her partner. That's why she saves it in case she is left alone, for her independent life. The only question is how soon this will happen.

A woman who defends herself on all fronts will never open the door called FEMININITY. Femininity is defenselessness(not to be confused with helplessness).

I can already hear the indignation of some women: “Lord, what else have you come up with!”

As one woman wrote in the comments: “Support the man, and put him first, but when will you live?” Yes, this is where our most difficult work lies, not office work. Office work is the easiest thing a woman can do. We know how to plow, sow and stew, but it is incredibly difficult to be soft, defenseless, feminine.

Very often we are deceived without knowing or understanding the motives. For example, a man goes to another city, to another country to work, his wife either follows him, or...

But if you are not going to a man, if you have a lot of reasons (the child doesn’t want it, I have work, you can’t leave, etc.), then this is also a deception. As a couple you have separated. And if you didn’t go after him, then you “broke up” long before he left. Sometimes it's hard to admit. But if a man and a woman do not live in the same apartment and do not sleep in the same bed for a month, two, three, then in essence they have separated, even if they have not yet divorced.

A guest marriage is also deception or self-deception. And the one who offers this type of relationship is deceiving. He hasn't made his final choice yet.

Using a man. What could be worse? This is when a woman marries a man for some benefits, not always material, but in her heart she does not choose him. It will not work to endure a man forever for the sake of gain; someday a woman, having grown stronger and received what she got married for, will want to leave the relationship. It’s so easy and simple: - yesterday I needed you, but today I don’t. As a rule, a receipt for payment is waiting at the “exit”.

The man is such a deceiver, he just doesn’t forgive and “hits” very painfully. There are so many stories today about how men take away children and leave women with nothing. These are stories about “used” men. A man will never just torture a woman and separate her from her children. Only his severe pain and resentment will force him to do this. Men take revenge. That's how they are built. I don’t presume to judge how good or bad this is.

At the end I will give examples of what I call "harmless" deception. Why harmless, because it seems to us that by deceiving, we save the relationship, protect our husband’s nerves, etc.

It can be prices for purchases, sometimes we underestimate them, sometimes we overestimate them, depending on what we want to get.

Or at the beginning of a relationship we want to impress on a young man and pretend to be someone who we are not. Don't be afraid to be yourself, don't be afraid to declare your principles and outline your boundaries. Don't forget about your dignity. , which caused an incredible response online. So this is a pressing question. For example, if you don’t smoke or drink, you shouldn’t do this just to avoid seeming like a notorious black sheep. Be yourself and don't mislead anyone.

Sometimes deception penetrates into intimate relationships; a woman can feign pleasure when she does not receive it. Fortunately, today there is a place to watch and learn.

Perhaps I missed some other examples, if there are any, you will definitely see them in your relationships.

Dear women, we communicate as a couple not only at the level of words, more often we communicate at the level of the soul, and the soul always knows who is telling the truth and who is lying. Honesty, sincerity, trust and– this is the foundation without which any human relationship is not possible, especially in a couple.

Remember that you are an adult woman and don’t be afraid to communicate, talk to your man, don’t be afraid frankness. You yourself chose this person. Be natural, open in your desires and states. Love is, first of all, an atmosphere of trust.

“If a man feels that a woman is always with him, he has great strength; he can take on any task. As soon as he feels that a woman is not with him, his energy dries up. Now he only has dreams, but they are powerless - they no longer have energy, they cannot be realized. A man creates a dream. A woman gives impetus to making a dream come true.” Osho.

If you found this article helpful, please leave a comment below.

Tatyana Dzutseva

In contact with

Hello, please help me with advice.

We have been dating a young man for almost 2 years now, we have a fairly trusting relationship, we know how to communicate normally, listen to each other’s problems and experiences, and support each other in difficult situations. We love each other, our feelings are mutual, as it seemed to me for some time. For my part, I treat him very well, I love him and see our future together, I didn’t feel comfortable there with anyone, I try to do everything in my power for him, help with work, study, support him in difficult times , to advise something. He also says that he loves me, that everything is serious with us, he takes care of me, gives gifts when we are alone, it’s just an idyll, but as soon as he is left alone, that’s where it begins.

He is a rather handsome and prominent young man, at 22, has a good job, a car, all this was given to him by his parents and he has never experienced a lack of attention from girls who are greedy for “thick wallets” and he himself understands this very well. Before we met him, his girls changed almost every day, none of them stayed for long, it even happened that he dated several at the same time, and some of them he didn’t even remember the names of.

First 3 months our relationship was ideal, then everything started to take off, I began to find out that he was deceiving me. He has a friend with whom he constantly hung out, the friend is not very attractive, his family is not entirely prosperous, and compared to him, his friend constantly fails with girls, which is why he is very angry. It was he who used to find girls with whom they subsequently met and walked. It turned out that this friend continued to look for girls to meet, they brought some of them home to my boyfriend, drank there, had fun, and he told me that he had gone out of town with his parents. We had a showdown, in the end he promised me that this would never happen again and that he only needed me.

I can tell for a long time all the situations in which I encountered lies and betrayal from a person whom I completely trusted and towards whom I treat very sincerely. To put it briefly, I repeatedly found, completely by accident, his correspondence with other girls on social networks, on the phone, where he was clearly flirting with them, arranging meetings, what they would do when they saw each other, giving them compliments and saying everything at the same time that he is single and doesn’t have any girlfriend.

There was a girl, his classmate, with whom I met them walking hand in hand in the city center, then, despite our quarrels, he still communicated with her secretly for a very long time, met, walked, went to the cinema, accompanied her home, I saw photographs of mutual friends where they hug. Then she disappeared and I think that their communication ended only on her initiative.

Another time, he went to another city for the weekend and met a girl there, he really liked her, he told her that he was single and for a month they regularly corresponded on social networks and by phone, called each other, almost admitted love, dreamed when their next meeting would take place. At that time, he stopped communicating with me, explaining to me that that girl was much better than me, that she was calm and did not arrange a showdown for him. As a result, they stopped communicating and now she doesn’t remember anything good about her. I forgave that too.

I also found a lot of photographs of other girls on his phone, both ordinary and quite frank and unambiguous correspondence. With all this, when these girls asked how his relationship with me was, why we broke up, that he was now looking for a girlfriend, he told them that it was impossible to be with me, that I was crazy, sick, mad and in general the mistake of his whole life.

Several times I found his profiles on dating sites, where he was looking for a girlfriend for one-time meetings, sex or long-term relationships. Each time he deleted them himself in front of me, swore that this would never happen again, but he registered in secret again.

When I learned all this every time, I was terribly offended, I cried, screamed, I didn’t understand why a person would betray me like that. He behaves quite strangely during our quarrels, asks for forgiveness, promises that this will not happen again, that he only needs me and that he is just having fun, or he simply remains silent and says that it is useless for me to explain anything and that let me be I think the way I want to think, he doesn’t want to prove or explain anything to me.

I haven’t been able to make out anything for a long time, I understand that we have already gone too far, that I myself am probably to blame for something, maybe he lacks something on my part, that he is looking for it on the side. I scold myself every time that I forgive him everything, he gets away with everything, although he offended me so many times, insulted me, grabbed me in a fit of anger. All my friends and relatives keep telling me that it’s time to stop forgiving everything and leave once and for all, that we have no future, if he loved me, he wouldn’t do this. Two opposites are fighting in me, one hopes for the best, that he will understand everything and sooner or later appreciate everything, the other says that by forgiving him I am dooming myself to a terrible future, that sooner or later he will still betray me the way he did. earlier.

He has a fairly wealthy, but not happy family. My parents are engaged in business, they live simply as partners, my dad has a family on the side and children, which only my boyfriend knows about, because... he himself communicated with them several times. Mom, it seems to me, knows everything, she just pretends not to notice anything, because no one needs a divorce. I am afraid that seeing all this in my family and perceiving this as the norm, he will be exactly like his father.

Please help me, advise me what to do, what words to say to him so that he understands that my patience is already at its limit. Perhaps some words and meaningless showdowns are enough, what the hell. the person has already proven himself and will not be different. Please give me some advice, I don’t know what to do with myself anymore, I’m constantly on edge, I’ve lost a lot of weight, my health has deteriorated, I’m in constant stress from this whole situation, I’m tired of allowing myself to be offended and forgiving everything. Is there any hope for the future or can we turn over this page of life and move on.

Thank you very much in advance for your understanding and response.

How to find your love for life and not make a mistake in your choice - this question haunts many people who are in search of a soul mate.

At the beginning of a relationship, a person is in a state of euphoria, so it is very easy to mislead and deceive him. In order to avoid serious mistakes that you will later regret, you should listen not only to the voice of your heart, but also to useful advice that you can glean from authoritative sources.

Infidelity is a hard blow

Of course, during the period of falling in love it is very difficult to objectively assess reality, but still, try to analyze the events taking place in your life and draw the right conclusions.

If you don’t want to be completely disappointed in love and then mourn your tender feelings for the deceiver (or deceiver), do everything possible to avoid being fooled.

Of course, you shouldn’t go to extremes: unfounded suspicions can offend a person who is not guilty of anything.

According to statistics, the most common reason for quarrels and breakups is cheating. Finding out about your partner's infidelity is a heavy blow for a loving person. It is especially difficult for those who have allowed themselves to be led by the nose for a long time by deceivers. Therefore, rather than sitting around a broken trough, it is better to immediately find out whether your loved one (or beloved) always tells you the truth.

How do you know if someone is lying to you?

In fact, there are no universal methods for detecting lies. Some people, deceiving their loved ones, try to make amends by showering their loved ones with gifts, others, on the contrary, pay much less attention to their loved ones, often “stay late at work,” etc.

Still, there are certain points that are worth paying attention to if you suspect your partner of lying.

Good afternoon, dear readers! Today I won't tell you anything useful. And that's a lie. We encounter lies at work, at home, at school, with friends. It is unpleasant and disgusting to be deceived. I bring to your attention detailed instructions on how to recognize a lie: 10 mistakes of a liar.

A fairy tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it

How many times in your life have you encountered a person who seemed strange to you, you felt that he was not telling something, that he was disingenuous. Have you noticed that you subconsciously don’t trust his facial expressions, gestures, and speech?

But how to detect deception and not fall for a liar?

If you want to become an expert in this field, then be sure to read Paul Ekman "Psychology of Lies" and Pamela Meyer "How to recognize a lie".

Now we will look at the most common signs by which you can expose a liar to clean water. Remember that a lot depends on the context; a certain gesture will not always mean a lie. Be careful and vigilant.

Mistake #1 “Left Side”

Body language often speaks much louder than a person's speech. Right-handed people tend to have good control over the right side of their body. Track the direction of your right arm and leg. You can easily subjugate an unbridled hand.

Therefore, lie detection experts advise looking closely at the left side of a person. His left hand will dangle randomly, actively gesticulate, touch his face, and so on.

The left side of our body shows our real emotions, experiences and feelings. With quality observation, you can clearly see the signs of lying.

Mistake #2 “Hands to face”

Pay close attention to the gestures of your interlocutor. Signs of lying are covering your mouth, rubbing your nose, holding or scratching your neck, covering your ear, talking through your teeth. All this, if repeated many times, will practically scream that the person is deceiving.

It is important here not to confuse such a gesture with simply scratching a bite, for example. Or this behavior may be characteristic of your interlocutor.

I have a friend who constantly scratches his nose. It doesn't matter whether he's telling the truth or lying. Women resort to touching their neck or hair to show their interest in a man. So be extremely careful with such signals.

Mistake #3 “Speech”

If you want to make sure that a person is lying, then carefully watch his speech. In a conversation with a liar, you will notice a lot of understatement, a crumpled pace of speech, sometimes he speaks quickly, sometimes slowly. Most often, a liar's speech begins slowly, but then, out of fear of being discovered, he speeds up and may even end his story abruptly.

Liars often use a lot of pauses in their story. This gives them time to think and evaluate your reaction. You will also notice fluctuations in your speech. To make things easier for themselves, liars repeat your own words. For example, when you ask a question, he will quickly repeat the last words. "Where were you last week?" - “Last week I was...”

Mistake #4 “Eyes”

It’s not for nothing that they say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul. In the case of meeting a liar, the eyes will be one of the main factors by which you can bring him to clean water. Deceivers try not to look directly at their interlocutor; they always look away.

You can even ask him to tell you the story while looking him in the eye. The liar will be confused, embarrassed and will still try to look away.

Mistake #5 “Emotions”

Facial expressions, as a component of body language, say a lot about what a person would like to keep silent about. The most common example is when a person tells you that he is glad to see you, but smiles only a moment later.

True emotions are expressed in parallel with speech. But the fictitious emotion is displayed on the face with a delay.

Mistake #6: “Being short”

When a liar comes up with his speech, he tries to make it as short and laconic as possible. You rarely hear a detailed and detailed story from the mouth of a professional liar.

Brevity allows you to quickly post your version and evaluate your opponent’s reaction. Did he believe it? But then the seventh mistake happens.

Mistake #7 “Unnecessary parts”

When a person briefly outlines the essence of his false story to you, but begins to doubt your gullibility, he immediately embellishes the story with detailed, unnecessary, and sometimes pretentious details. In this way, he tries to make his story more believable.

Notice at what points the person begins to add details and detail. Are they needed in the story, are they necessary and important in your conversation.

Mistake #8 “Protection”

Another liar's move is to defend himself against your doubts. As soon as you express your distrust, you will immediately hear “Do you think I look like a liar? Am I lying to you? You do not believe me?" and so on.

Liars may resort to sarcasm and jokes to cover up their lies. Do not confuse this with the normal behavior of a person.

There are those comrades who are always trying to impress their interlocutor with their sense of humor.
Additionally, sarcasm and rudeness between husband and wife may indicate that they have serious respect issues.

Mistake #9 “Attention”

The deceiver will watch your reaction very carefully. He will attribute the slightest change in your facial expressions to distrust or his complete victory. As soon as you frown slightly, he immediately changes tactics, because he considers this a sign of distrust.

A person who tells the truth will be more interested in his story than in your reaction to it. And the liar will try to understand whether you swallowed his bait or not.

Mistake #10: Confusion

If you ask your interlocutor to tell a story backwards, the person who is telling the truth will easily do this trick. But a liar will begin to get confused, remember what he told you, and in the end may not give any answer at all.

In addition, in the liar’s speeches there may be inconsistencies in dates, times, and places. If you follow the story carefully, you can find a couple of similar moments,

Summarize

Don't jump to conclusions. If you notice one or two of the signs described above, this does not always mean that the person is lying to you. A more correct approach would be to learn to see the aggregate of these signs.

When you know for sure that a person is lying to you, do not say so right away. Practice your observation skills. Study his facial expressions and gestures. Ask questions that don't have an expected answer.

A friend of mine came up with a spectacular maneuver. During his speech, he deliberately sneezed loudly when he wanted to convince his interlocutor that he was right. And with the words “I sneezed, it means I’m telling the truth,” he smiled solemnly.

Best wishes to you!