Great love in kindergarten. Love in kindergarten. How to react to parents

Many parents find themselves “caught by surprise” when their child, closer to four or five years old or a little later, suddenly becomes especially sensitive to manifestations of attention or inattention to him from “a person of the opposite sex.” We suddenly begin to notice sudden mood swings depending on “the way we looked at him” or what his “object of attention” said, and our support or, on the contrary, recommendations to be easy and switch, do not help at all! What to do and how to react to the baby’s state of love?

It would seem that we ourselves have already “been through and experienced everything” and it’s not for us to give recommendations, but still they don’t “work”, but I so want to help my child and wish “big and pure, bright love”!

If we ask you, what do you think about your own partnerships, what are they like for you? You will think: “What does this have to do with me, if this is not about me, but about a child?” Psychologists have already proven the relationship and influence of parental relationships on the construction and behavior in your child’s “love” relationships! So let's try to answer this question frankly for ourselves... Describe them with characteristics of 5 - 10 adjectives. Done? Now let's look at the result! How many of them describe ecstatic feelings, joy, love, happiness and your positive attitude?

If you have worked on this issue frankly, then most likely you have discovered both negative answers and characteristics in yourself... “What does this have to do with my child?” – you ask again! And the most immediate! The fact is that from birth a child learns all the skills and abilities, building relationships in the family, from adults. The extent to which the parents allowed themselves to express their feelings towards each other in the presence of the child and how positive they were depends on the success/failure of the child in building his first childhood, and then more adult love relationships with the opposite sex. So what to do? How to help your child be successful in his crush?

It is important to develop a child’s skill positive thinking, needless to say, often unusual for ourselves! How to do it?

First, don’t say “no”! For example, “You don’t need to be friends with her if she doesn’t notice you!” or “she’s a rude girl if she behaves like that towards you!” The child, after these phrases, will most likely distance himself from you and will worry about “love misunderstandings” himself! Of course, you already see that your child’s choice is, needless to say, frankly strange. The object of the child's attention is older than him, perhaps even offends him, and the child is very, very worried about this. This most likely touches you, but the child is lonely and difficult! Find positive sides in the child’s behavior when overcoming this situation, for example, “what a great fellow you are, you know how to switch to other things - play, have fun, create something, etc.” – that is, stay active!

The child “reads behavior patterns” in relationships with his parents! If it is customary in a family to show tenderness, care, attention, and be interested in the mood and well-being of another, then the child will show himself in a similar way in his relationships, and what is certain is that he will be reciprocated. And if in a family it is customary to raise one’s voice, demand, subjugate, without regard for the interests of the other, and even use physical violence, then the child in the relationship will express himself aggressively and persistently, and if he receives “rebuff”, he will be forced to either further provoke a conflict or to behave depressively - to be offended by the whole world and to be in a “depressed” mood. Such "childish manipulative" games.

I remember an example of the development of children's love relationships in one of our kindergartens. Two boys fell in love with one girl at once and they were in the same group. One of the boys behaved “like a gentleman,” even if the girl was in a bad mood, and the other boy behaved “like a gentleman” even when she was in a bad mood. bad mood and inattention to him, he immediately looked at the world in “black colors,” and it took enormous effort from both the psychologist and the group teacher so that the boy could even just smile at other children, return to activity, and not sit in the corner of the children’s room and look at the floor. A huge feeling of loneliness and dislike for the whole world! At these moments, the child especially needs the help and support of an adult, but it is very difficult for the same adult to support, since the child rejects everything that is offered. At such moments, it is also important to just sit and be silent next to each other - to share the child’s sadness and sadness, it is important to show patience, and then contact will be restored again.

It is important to care for any relationship, for example, like flowers in a garden - they need to be watered regularly, loosen the soil, protect and remove weeds. It’s the same with love – you also need to take care of it! For example, inviting you to visit, to joint events, just talking good words and compliments. Find as many positive sides as possible in the object of your love, and then your child will learn to do the same from your example! And one more thing - how often do we pamper ourselves and each other with sweet, but expensive and pleasing gifts to our hearts? By demonstrating this in your adult partnerships, be sure that such signs of attention will immediately enter your child’s life! Pleasant surprises give a feeling of joy to both adults and children!

Psychologists note that in order for a child to grow up happy and positively disposed, it is necessary to hug him sincerely and lovingly at least 8 times a day. Then he himself will bring love and joy into his children's world and give! There are many studies showing that children who were abandoned by their mothers in the maternity hospital stop screaming on the fifth day of their stay in the maternity ward. different ways try to attract the attention of staff maternity hospital, but simply become quiet, turn away from the entrance to the children's ward and begin to quietly look in one direction, without moving at all. Such children, immediately after birth, acquire for themselves one single thought - “since the world has turned its back on me, if it doesn’t need me, then I will turn away from the world, I don’t need it and I will always defend myself from it.” Of course, it’s sad, but using this example, you and I can always return to our family, to our home and to our relationships that love and tenderness, care for our neighbor that we have not yet had time to give, but dreamed of, and then our children will be more successful in expressing their love for another. I sincerely wish this for you!

Elena Krechko

Source

How should parents react to their preschooler’s special attention to the opposite sex? What, if we talk about relationships, does a child learn in a family? How to support a child who is experiencing kindergarten? Elena Pavlovna Krechko, family and perinatal psychologist, tells the story.

Many parents are taken by surprise when their child, closer to four or five years old or a little later, suddenly becomes especially sensitive to manifestations of attention or inattention to him from a “person of the opposite sex.” We suddenly begin to notice sudden mood swings depending on how the “object of attention” looked at him or what his “object of attention” said, and our support does not help at all. What should we do and how should we, adults, react to our child’s state of love? It would seem that we ourselves have already gone through and experienced everything, and who else but us can give recommendations. But they don’t work - and I really want to help my child.

If you are asked: “What do you think about your own partnerships, what are they like for you?”, you will think: “What does this have to do with me, if it is not about me, but about the child?” Psychologists have already proven the influence of parental relationships on the behavior in your child’s “love” relationships. So let's try to answer my question frankly, for ourselves...

Describe your relationship with your other half using 5-10 adjectives. Done? Now let's look at the result. How many of them describe ecstatic feelings, joy, love, happiness and your positive attitude? If you have worked on this issue frankly, then most likely you have discovered negative answers and characteristics in yourself...

"What does this have to do with my child?" - you ask again. And the most immediate! The fact is that from birth a child learns how to build relationships in a family from adults. The extent to which the parents allowed themselves to express feelings towards each other in the presence of the child and how positive these feelings were depends on the success or failure of the child in building his first childhood, and then more adult love relationships with the opposite sex.

So what to do? How to help your child be successful in his crush?

It is important to develop in a child the skill of positive thinking, which, needless to say, is often not characteristic of us. How to do it?

First: don’t say “no”! For example, phrases like “You don’t need to be friends with her if she doesn’t notice you!” or “She’s a rude girl if she behaves like that towards you!” After these phrases, the child will most likely distance himself from you and worry about “love misunderstandings” himself. Find positive aspects in your child’s behavior, for example: “What a great guy you are, you know how to switch to other things - play, have fun.”

Second. The child reads behavior patterns in relationships with their parents If it is customary in a family to show tenderness, care, attention, and be interested in the mood and well-being of another, then the child will behave in a similar way, and what is certain is that they will reciprocate. And if in a family it is customary to raise one’s voice, demand, subjugate, regardless of the interests of the other, and even use physical violence, then the child in the relationship will express himself aggressively and persistently. If he receives a “rebuff,” he will be forced to either further provoke a conflict or behave depressively—be offended by the whole world and be in a “dejected” mood.

I remember an example of the development of children's love relationships in one of the kindergartens. Two boys from the same group fell in love with one girl. One of the boys behaved "like a gentleman" even if the girl was in a bad mood. Another boy, given her bad mood and lack of attention to him, immediately looked at the world in “black colors,” and it took enormous efforts from both a psychologist and a group teacher so that the boy could even just smile at other children, return to activity, and not sit in the corner of the children's room and look at the floor. At such moments, it is important to just sit and be silent next to each other - to share the child’s sadness and sadness, to show patience, and then contact will be restored again.

Third. It is important to take care of any relationship for example, inviting you to visit, to joint events, just saying kind words and compliments. Find as many positive sides as possible in the object of your love, and then your child will learn to do the same from your example.

Article provided by the Elitora Development and Education Center

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My friend’s son was not yet three years old. Every day she brought him to kindergarten and observed the following picture: as soon as one of the girls in his group crossed the threshold of the locker room, her son immediately rushed to her, kissed her on the cheek and began to help take off her fur coat and felt boots (it was winter). True, her reaction was also unchanged. She pushed him away and undressed herself with an unusually proud look. My friend was amused by this, although she tried not to show it to her son. And at that moment she thought, can a child at that age experience a feeling of love for someone other than his parents? And how to react to this, because he only talked about her.

Let's try to figure out how to react to a child's first love. “All ages are submissive to love” - this is not only about late love. Let's remember ourselves, haven't we really fallen in love? In kindergarten, then in first grade, and, of course, real first love?

Preschool love

Your child has started kindergarten. He is four or five years old. And suddenly you notice something unusual in his behavior. He starts telling you about some girl, about what they did together today on a walk, what games they played, how beautiful she is. In the morning (which is not entirely usual for him), she rushes to kindergarten (after all, her mother brings her a little earlier).

What is this? Well, of course, love. She manifests herself in a very childish way; your son can openly admit to you that he loves her, only her, and will never love anyone else, that he will grow up and definitely get married. Or maybe he wants to get married right now. For the first time, he emotionally breaks away from his mother, and a new feeling is born in him. At such a tender age, a child does not know the suffering of unrequited love, his love is pure, because there has not yet been betrayal, complexes, or bad experiences in his life...

Take such statements seriously; there is no need to joke about him. Just ask the child about the subject of his crush, advise how to care for the girl, how to show signs of attention. You can protect her when someone tries to offend her, help her in some matters, open the door for her, give her a coat when they go for a walk.

This way, you can let your child know that he can trust you. As he grows, trust should become a criterion in your relationship with him. And even though in two weeks your son will have a new object of his attention (and most likely this will happen, children are fickle in their affections), but he will still have this first experience of mutual trust.

School love

As the child grows up, other senses develop in him. This is competition, the ability to stand up for oneself, independence. The child goes to school, finds himself in a completely different environment, where he has to build relationships anew. It is this circumstance that forms new qualities in our child. He must survive in the new society and, if possible, adapt to it safely. Therefore, manifestations of love at the age of 8–10 years are already completely different.

A child at this age expresses his feelings rather inadequately. Boys pull girls' pigtails and tease them; girls hit the object of their attention over the head with a textbook, whisper with their girlfriends about him, hide after unexpected confessions, bully each other. In this case, the reason for interest in each other may be completely unexpected. “I like this boy because he is the quietest in the class.”

The child is confused; he does not fully understand what is happening to him and why he is being shown attention in this way. Although he already identifies this feeling as love. A mother who shows a sincere interest in her child's inner world will notice changes in his behavior. At such a moment, you should carefully and calmly ask him what is happening. Be careful not to let her questions shut him down. Having found out the reason, you should not tell the child that at his age there are no serious feelings, that he has his whole life ahead of him, and there will be many more like Len, Tan, Seryozha and others. This is fraught with the formation in a child of a frivolous attitude towards love with all the ensuing consequences. Teach him to respect someone else’s feelings, not to insult him, but to treat him with understanding. And there is no need for a mentoring tone when talking to a child. Let him know at this moment that you are his friend. And it is also very important, knowing that the child has entrusted his secret to you, to keep it. This is the only way you will maintain his trust in you. And remember, your child learns to live, learns to feel, learns to worry.

Adolescence

And now comes the most difficult period in the life of parents. The child enters adolescence. God, when do they have time to grow up! The first love is already on the doorstep! How difficult it is sometimes for us to come to terms with this. To come to terms with the fact that a person appears in our child’s life who tears our child away from us. For the first time, your child feels the need to love someone other than his parents. This is fine! Without this, his soul will not be formed, his emotional sphere, his concept of gender relations and the concept of family life. First love is a state that every person must go through; it is a stage of personality formation.

Let's imagine a situation: A twelve-year-old girl fell in love. First love! But my mother did not have enough time and energy to notice any signs of this in her behavior and mood. Therefore, the girl did not particularly share her experiences with her. But, since her first love dragged on for more than one year, the mother still knew the name of the boy with whom her daughter was in love, but she treated it with the formula “everything passes, this too will pass,” and sometimes she openly laughed at such a lasting feeling. This love was unrequited and, accordingly, unhappy, forming a bunch of complexes in the girl. Unfortunately, the mother did not attach importance to the feelings that tormented her daughter for quite a long time - three years, and did not try to help her, which ultimately led to the fact that the girl remained a very insecure woman for a long time.

So what to do, how to behave so as not to cause mental trauma to your child, to help him at such a delicate moment for him.

Is your child in love? Do not remain indifferent, and most importantly, do not panic! You should not immediately faint in anticipation of early sexual relations, give him an educational program about their harm and consequences. Modern parents are perhaps most worried about this. There is no need for total control of their relationship. Trust your child. There is no need for irony in relation to his feeling and his subject. Better try to teach him the culture of relationships, the expression of feelings.

Don't like your child's crush? You shouldn’t tell him about this, much less urge him to give up his feelings, because this object is unworthy of him. You will achieve only one thing: your child’s attachment will only intensify, simply as a sign of protest, which is typical of teenagers. Hold back, your child must understand this himself.

Love at this age often pushes study into the background. After all, you really want to spend more time together, and you don’t think about lessons at all. Again, don't panic! For a child, these spheres of life exist separately, and he does not connect them in his mind in any way. It is worth talking with him on this topic, without belittling the significance of his feelings, but also without diminishing his responsibility for the main thing in his real life - successful studies.

Your child is in love - advice from a psychologist

1. Communicate with children as equals, leave a commanding tone.

2. Let your child know that you understand him.

3. You cannot be ironic about his feelings, belittling their significance.

4. Don't be critical of your child's crush.

5. Don't forbid them to communicate with each other. You will achieve the opposite. the Forbidden fruit sweet.

6. There is no need for lectures about the dangers of early sexual activity. You can awaken interest in her that is not needed yet.

7. When talking to your child, use examples from your own life.

8. Allow them to meet at your home so that they don't have to look for random and dubious dating havens.

It is common knowledge that best method education – education by example. The child will unconsciously build a relationship with the object of his love according to the model of the relationship between his parents. If mutual understanding, care for each other, and respect reign at home, then the child will take them as a basis in his new relationships with the opposite sex. And this can largely determine the development of his romantic relationships. And in the future - family ones.

Let's be not only educators for our children, but also friends. So that later they can bravely and confidently walk through life.

Irina Shalimova,
Head of the Big Turtle Family Club

“Of course, all ages are submissive to love, but not to the same degree,” you think, watching your 5-year-old son hugging a charming chubby girl at a kindergarten matinee. How should we respond to such an early and vivid manifestation of children's feelings? Prohibit or encourage? What is the reason?

Who am I and why am I?

Many mothers and fathers do not know that children experience the first surge of sexuality not in adolescence, but at the age of 3-6 years. Sex hormones begin to enter the child’s blood, and this pushes him to think about whether he is a boy or a girl, and how representatives of different sexes differ from each other. At this age, children love to play doctor and look at their own and other people's bodies with curiosity. This is neither good nor bad, but natural. And if you find your child studying his personal anatomy, then do not scold him, do not reproach him, but tell him what this part is called. It is advisable to use normal expressions: penis, testicles and vagina - without any “cocks” and “squirrels”. And then switch his attention to a game or cartoon. In this way, you satisfy the child’s curiosity and develop a balanced and calm attitude towards sexual issues.

Punish? For what?

Some parents ask, observing love in kindergarten: maybe the child should be scolded and punished for the manifestation of early childhood sexuality? For what? Still, he needs to realize what gender he belongs to and what is connected with it. With punishments, the first stage of the formation of sexuality in him will drag on for a long time and will cause anxiety to both him and you. Typically, after seven years of age, children enter the latent phase of sexual development: they are sensitive to questions of gender and nudity. special attention They don’t pay attention, they grow, learn and gain life experience for up to 12 years. If they “didn’t play the first half,” they will be distinguished by a constant morbid interest in everything related to gender. Subsequently, they may have serious teenage crisis with a breakdown in early sexual contacts, which frighten parents so much.

Why do children kiss

Because children, like adults, experience love, sympathy and affection for each other. A strong and active girl often chooses a timid and gentle boy for love; a phlegmatic and touchy boy becomes attached to a cheerful and cheerful girl. They express their tender feelings in a style that they observe in their family. Is it customary to hug and kiss at home? Great, 5-year-old Varya gently presses and kisses 6-year-old Slavik to her heart, Igor holds Alice’s hand and strokes her. A rude style of behavior is welcomed in the family, is dad putting everyone in the family to task and covering them with unkind words? Petya hits his beloved Katya on the head with a coloring book and shouts: “Right now I’ll kill you!” Sveta’s mom divorced her dad and really wants to find a new husband? Sveta promises all the cute boys that she will marry them.

How to react to early childhood crushes

Calm and kind. If your 5-year-old son reports: “She follows me and wants to marry me,” tell him: “You see how big you are, the girls already love you!” If he complains “why does she keep trying to kiss her,” advise him not to run away from the girl. She pursues him with her attention in the hope of proving that she poses no danger to him. When he stops hiding from her, she will not have to prove anything and her tender feelings for him will fade away naturally. Are your 6-year-old daughter and her little friend telling you they're getting married when they grow up? Great - let them grow. It will take a long time to grow.

What parents are afraid of when watching a couple of kids

What if they start having sex? This secret fear, as psychologists say, is a projection: mom and dad attribute their thoughts and feelings to the children. In fact, no sex at such a tender age between children is possible, because there is no physiological basis for it, there is no psychological or emotional need for it. Things won't go further than playing together and kissing in the sandbox.

Sometimes parents are embarrassed: will those around them consider their 5-year-old daughter, walking hand in hand with a boy, to be poorly mannered and sexually disinhibited. Think least about the thoughts that come into someone else’s head, and keep in mind: if your child likes other children, it means he is kind and when he grows up, he will not be lonely. And this is always nice!

MEASURE OF CARE

PSYCHOLOGISTS BELIEVE: MANY VIOLATIONS IN THE BEHAVIOR AND DEVELOPMENT OF A CHILD ARE ASSOCIATED WITH INSUFFICIENT ATTENTION TO THEM BY PARENTS. BUT EXCESSIVE CARE CAN BE HARMFUL! THIS TEST WILL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND HOW CORRECT YOUR EDUCATIONAL POSITION IS.

Here are 15 statements. At first glance, it may seem that not all of them are related to education. However, against each phrase, give a point corresponding to your judgment on this issue.

2 - I would not rush to agree with this.

3 is probably correct.

4 - absolutely true, I think so.

Parents should anticipate all the problems that a child may encounter in order to help him overcome them.
For a good mother, communication only with her own family is enough.
A small child should always be held firmly while washing to prevent him from falling and hurting himself.
When a child does what he is supposed to do, he is on the right path and grows up happy.
It's good if a child plays sports. But not martial arts, as this is fraught with physical injuries and mental disorders.
Parenting is hard work.
A child should not have secrets from his parents.
If the mother fails to cope with her responsibilities towards the children, this most likely means that the father is poorly fulfilling his responsibilities to support the family.
Mother's love cannot be excessive: you cannot spoil a child with love.
Parents should protect their children from the negative manifestations of life.
You should not accustom your child to routine housework so that he does not lose the desire for any work.
If the mother did not manage the home, husband and children, family life would be chaotic.
Behind family table the best pieces, of course, go to the child.
The best protection against infectious diseases- limiting contacts with others.
Parents should actively influence which of their peers the child chooses as friends.

Let's sum it up

MORE THAN 40 POINTS. Your family can be called “child-centric,” that is, the interests of the child are the main motive for your behavior. This position is worthy of approval, but in your case it is somewhat pointed. Psychologists call this “overprotection.” In such families, adults decide everything for the child, strive to protect him from real and imaginary dangers, force him to follow all requirements, judgments, and moods. As a result, the child develops passive dependence on his parents, which, as he grows older, increasingly impedes personal growth. Think about it: maybe you should trust your child more, believe in him, listen to his own interests. After all, it is rightly noted: “Raising children means teaching them to do without us.”

25-40 POINTS. Your child is not in danger of becoming promiscuous or spoiled because you give him enough, but not excessive, attention. Try to maintain this level of relationship.

LESS THAN 25 POINTS. You clearly underestimate yourself as a teacher; you rely too much on chance and favorable circumstances. Problems in business and marital relationships often distract your attention from your child. And he has the right to expect more participation and care from you!

Conversation between Galina Zaitseva and psychotherapist Olga Popeiko. Published in “Love!” Material taken from the site

Many parents find themselves “caught by surprise” when their child, closer to four or five years old or a little later, suddenly becomes especially sensitive to manifestations of attention or inattention to him from “a person of the opposite sex.” We suddenly begin to notice sudden mood swings depending on “the way we looked at him” or what his “object of attention” said, and our support or, on the contrary, recommendations to be easy and switch, do not help at all! What to do and how to react to the baby’s state of love?

If we ask you, what do you think about your own partnerships, what are they like for you? You will think: “What does this have to do with me, if this is not about me, but about a child?” Psychologists have already proven the relationship and influence of parental relationships on the construction and behavior in your child’s “love” relationships! So let's try to answer this question frankly for ourselves... Describe them with characteristics of 5 - 10 adjectives. Done? Now let's look at the result! How many of them describe ecstatic feelings, joy, love, happiness and your positive attitude?

It is important to develop positive thinking skills in your child., needless to say, often unusual for ourselves! How to do it?

First, don’t say “no”! For example, “You don’t need to be friends with her if she doesn’t notice you!” or “she’s a rude girl if she behaves like that towards you!” The child, after these phrases, will most likely distance himself from you and will worry about “love misunderstandings” himself! Of course, you already see that your child’s choice is, needless to say, frankly strange. The object of the child's attention is older than him, perhaps even offends him, and the child is very, very worried about this. This most likely touches you, but the child is lonely and difficult! Find positive aspects in the child’s behavior when overcoming this situation, for example, “what a great guy you are, you know how to switch to other things - play, have fun, create something, etc.” – that is, stay active!

The child “reads behavior patterns” in relationships with his parents! If it is customary in a family to show tenderness, care, attention, and be interested in the mood and well-being of another, then the child will show himself in a similar way in his relationships, and what is certain is that he will be reciprocated. And if in a family it is customary to raise one’s voice, demand, subjugate, without regard for the interests of the other, and even use physical violence, then the child in the relationship will express himself aggressively and persistently, and if he receives “rebuff”, he will be forced to either further provoke a conflict or to behave depressively - to be offended by the whole world and to be in a “depressed” mood. Such "childish manipulative" games.

I remember an example of the development of children's love relationships in one of our kindergartens. Two boys fell in love with one girl at once and they were in the same group. One of the boys behaved “like a gentleman,” even if the girl was in a bad mood, and the other boy, given her bad mood and inattention to him, immediately looked at the world in “black colors,” and it required enormous efforts from both the psychologist and the teacher groups so that the boy could at least just smile at other children, return to activity, and not sit in the corner of the children's room and look at the floor. A huge feeling of loneliness and dislike for the whole world! At these moments, the child especially needs the help and support of an adult, but it is very difficult for the same adult to support, since the child rejects everything that is offered. At such moments, it is also important to just sit and be silent next to each other - to share the child’s sadness and sadness, it is important to show patience, and then contact will be restored again.

It is important to take care of any relationship, for example, like flowers in a garden– they need to be watered regularly, loosen the soil, protect and remove weeds. It’s the same with love – you also need to take care of it! For example, inviting you to visit, to joint events, just saying kind words and compliments. Find as many positive sides as possible in the object of your love, and then your child will learn to do the same from your example! And one more thing - how often do we pamper ourselves and each other with sweet, but expensive and pleasing gifts to our hearts? By demonstrating this in your adult partnerships, be sure that such signs of attention will immediately enter your child’s life! Pleasant surprises give a feeling of joy to both adults and children!

Psychologists note that in order for a child to grow up happy and positively disposed, it is necessary to hug him sincerely and lovingly at least 8 times a day. Then he himself will bring love and joy into his children's world and give! There are many studies that children whose mothers abandoned them in the maternity hospital, on the fifth day of their stay in the maternity ward, stop screaming, try in various ways to attract the attention of the maternity hospital staff, and simply become quiet and turn away from the entrance to the children's ward. and begin to quietly look in one direction, without moving at all. Such children, immediately after birth, acquire for themselves one single thought - “since the world has turned its back on me, if it doesn’t need me, then I will turn away from the world, I don’t need it and I will always defend myself from it.” Of course, it’s sad, but using this example, you and I can always return to our family, to our home and to our relationships that love and tenderness, care for our neighbor that we have not yet had time to give, but dreamed of, and then our children will be more successful in expressing their love for another.